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July 19th, 2004

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10:05 pm - Especially for Nick
First, go to agaysexicon's journal, and read this post. I have nothing better to do while I wait to pack for my business trip, so: Below I've pasted the "surprise" plot points. Next to each is the name of the movie to which it refers. To read the name of the movie, simply highlight the text after the "--->." Simple, no?

1. Rosebud is a sled. ---> Citizen Kane, you uncultured twit.

2. Kevin Spacey IS the guy. ---> The Usual Suspects

3. Leland did it under the influence of Bob and the dwarf is the physical manifestation of Mike's amputated arm. ---> Twin Peaks

4. Frank and his servants are aliens, but that doesn't explain why Brad and Janet have their own soundtrack. ---> Transylvania 6-5000The Rocky Horror Picture Show

5. He's been dead since the beginning of the movie. ---> The Sixth Sense

6. The head vampire played FDR in Annie. ---> The Lost Boys

7. Press Secretary Richardson created them to seize power from the President. ---> Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

8. The Sunset City is actually an amalgamation of Carter's childhood memories of Boston. ---> The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath

9. He drinks an extra drop and wakes up after the apocalypse. ---> Army of Darkness

10. David Bowie doesn't have any power over Jennifer Connelly. ---> Labyrinth

11. Gonzo is from outer space. ---> Muppets from Space

12. Deckard is a Replicant. ---> Blade Runner

13. Milk -- not miak -- stops trolls. ---> Ernest: Scared Stupid. Shame on you for knowing that.

14. Frank Langella is leading a satanic cult, and the hot chick is the devil. ---> The Ninth Gate

15. God is an old guy with flashy blue eyes, and British microwaves are incredibly dangerous. ---> Time Bandits

16. Gleemonex causes happiness comas. ---> Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

17. The leader of the resistance looks good in a cow costume. ---> Top Secret!

18. The penguin is pure evil -- you can tell by his theme music, and by the way he looks at Grommit. ---> Wallace and Grommit in The Wrong Trousers

19. Pinback is actually a fuel technician who isn't even supposed to be on the mission. ---> Dark Star

20. The movie is a cyclical adaptation of the book Kane was writing, and Sam Neill is insane. ---> In The Mouth of Madness

21. They sent Bruce Willis back in time to ensure the future. ---> Twelve Monkeys

22. He's been in the chair since he blacked out after the explosion in the lingerie store. ---> Brazil

23. Wilbur is the son of Yog-Sothoth. ---> The Dunwich Horror

24. You should never have sex in front of a dead metal fetishist. ---> Tetsuo

25. The two races fuse into one, Kira comes back to life, and the movie still doesn't have a plot. ---> The Dark Crystal

26. Accidentally declaring nuclear war will totally get you to first base with Ally Sheedy. ---> Wargames
Current Mood: nerdynerdy
Current Music: Southern Library of Recorded Music

(9 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:07 am (UTC)
Crap. You're right. And I think #1 might actually be Weekend at Bernie's 2.
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:19 am (UTC)
Ok. It worked, sorta. Now it doesn't. Must need some company or something. In any case, do you happen to own all these movies?
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:22 am (UTC)
...most of 'em...
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:29 am (UTC)
Including Ernest Scared Stupid and/or Brain Candy? If you own the latter, can I watch it sometime? And if you own the former, ...why, and did you use your own money to get it?
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:38 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, and have fun tomorrow!
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:47 am (UTC)
Have fun? We'll see. I get to share a hotel room with the guy who thinks it's absolutely hilarious to hide my work.

Anyway: yes, I own Brain Candy. We should get together and see it, maybe make a cast party of it, since I know many of them would appreciate it if they've not seen it.

Yes, I also own Ernest: Scared Stupid. In my defense, it was exceptionally cheap. xoshua also likes the movie, so you'd better watch what you say about it.
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2004 04:16 pm (UTC)
See the "have fun" blessing everyone gives one another usually leads down two paths. One: Vacation Crappiness a la Chevy Chase a la National Lampoon and Two: Irony. I'm not sure which one you're going to go down, but I really don't expect you to have a good time at the seminar. Maybe the people will come out and tell the group that they should "Resect the cock". You never know.

Like the Brain Candy idea. Is Cancer Boy in it or did they cut it out?

As for Ernest, I liked that movie too. I was highly amused by miak. Though, as a disclaimer, I was ... 9 or 10 at the time.
[User Picture]
Date:July 21st, 2004 12:33 am (UTC)
Good Goddess, I wish I had read this social stigma before I purchased Ernest this evening.
Garmonbozia for the soul.

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