Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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Especially for Nick

First, go to agaysexicon's journal, and read this post. I have nothing better to do while I wait to pack for my business trip, so: Below I've pasted the "surprise" plot points. Next to each is the name of the movie to which it refers. To read the name of the movie, simply highlight the text after the "--->." Simple, no?

1. Rosebud is a sled. ---> Citizen Kane, you uncultured twit.

2. Kevin Spacey IS the guy. ---> The Usual Suspects

3. Leland did it under the influence of Bob and the dwarf is the physical manifestation of Mike's amputated arm. ---> Twin Peaks

4. Frank and his servants are aliens, but that doesn't explain why Brad and Janet have their own soundtrack. ---> Transylvania 6-5000The Rocky Horror Picture Show

5. He's been dead since the beginning of the movie. ---> The Sixth Sense

6. The head vampire played FDR in Annie. ---> The Lost Boys

7. Press Secretary Richardson created them to seize power from the President. ---> Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

8. The Sunset City is actually an amalgamation of Carter's childhood memories of Boston. ---> The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath

9. He drinks an extra drop and wakes up after the apocalypse. ---> Army of Darkness

10. David Bowie doesn't have any power over Jennifer Connelly. ---> Labyrinth

11. Gonzo is from outer space. ---> Muppets from Space

12. Deckard is a Replicant. ---> Blade Runner

13. Milk -- not miak -- stops trolls. ---> Ernest: Scared Stupid. Shame on you for knowing that.

14. Frank Langella is leading a satanic cult, and the hot chick is the devil. ---> The Ninth Gate

15. God is an old guy with flashy blue eyes, and British microwaves are incredibly dangerous. ---> Time Bandits

16. Gleemonex causes happiness comas. ---> Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

17. The leader of the resistance looks good in a cow costume. ---> Top Secret!

18. The penguin is pure evil -- you can tell by his theme music, and by the way he looks at Grommit. ---> Wallace and Grommit in The Wrong Trousers

19. Pinback is actually a fuel technician who isn't even supposed to be on the mission. ---> Dark Star

20. The movie is a cyclical adaptation of the book Kane was writing, and Sam Neill is insane. ---> In The Mouth of Madness

21. They sent Bruce Willis back in time to ensure the future. ---> Twelve Monkeys

22. He's been in the chair since he blacked out after the explosion in the lingerie store. ---> Brazil

23. Wilbur is the son of Yog-Sothoth. ---> The Dunwich Horror

24. You should never have sex in front of a dead metal fetishist. ---> Tetsuo

25. The two races fuse into one, Kira comes back to life, and the movie still doesn't have a plot. ---> The Dark Crystal

26. Accidentally declaring nuclear war will totally get you to first base with Ally Sheedy. ---> Wargames
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