On Monday, the amount of time I had to do honest-to-goodness work was halved by the fact that I suddenly had to look up around 350 zip codes, slap them into a mail merge, print and sign 350 letters, and stuff them into envelopes.
Incidentally, there are somewhere in the ballpark of 315 restaurants in Madison.
Yesterday I got caught up early in the morning, and was happily screwing around at my desk when the news hit.
One of my coworkers and I have to plan an entire United Way Kickoff meeting before October 15th (since that's when we have to have it). That's one week from today, folks. We're not at all prepared for this, since all of our printer materials suggest having our Kickoff during the week of the 27th. For those who have never been to one of these meetings or who have been but never really considered what it entails, let me break it down for you:
- We need to provide refreshments to the attendees (this is really not a problem).
- We need to schmooze at least one person from an agency funded by the United Way into coming in to discuss what the United Way does for them. This person needs to be from an agency people actually *care* about.
- We need to convince the company President to speak at the meeting.
- I'm going to need to give a couple of speeches, including:
- Opening remarks
- Banter between speakers
- Request that people pledge money
- We need to make this whole thing fun and entertaining.
- And (in case you hadn't noticed above) we need to ask people for money.
We're working on being witty, but we can't be too witty, because then we risk being "irreverent." Those who don't understand why this is a problem have probably never had to compose a memo for corporate consumption ("in the future you might want to avoid using pop culture icons such as Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, who promote the use of marijuana and barbiturates."). This is a problem since the introduction I've written is damn near brilliant, but it hinges on the word "suckjob."
In other news, I was over at Jess & Lantry's house on Monday night, and they loaned me a tape of a now-defunct local band called Swamp Thing. I had just glanced at the back of the tape and thought I saw the title "Bill and the Radiator." Well, having looked again, none of the songs on the tape have titles even remotely close to that. Either way, yesterday at work I started composing a piece called Bill and the Radiator, since I like the title. It has a weird sorta Yiddish jazz-meets-the-soundtrack-from-Castlevan