Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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SUVs are keeping my weight down.

My cholesterol levels are fantastic.

I don't know how either. I mean, my diet is better than what the weight loss industry tries to scare us into thinking is "average," but it's still not particularly healthy. I've been pondering the cholesterol conundrum for awhile, and I think I've figured it out.

It's all those damned SUVs and pickup trucks.

Maybe I need to back up a little to explain. See, I generally use my lunchbreaks to run errands, and I only take half an hour for lunch, which means that food is usually a briskly handled afterthought. When you're running on a tight schedule, nothing is brisker and more handled (?) than the drive-thru window.

Today I was waiting in line behind a dark blue pickup truck with flames painted on the side, and a tan Tahoe -- both vehicles quite a bit longer than my car. The truck was still waiting for her food when the driver of the Tahoe paid and pulled forward just far enough to keep me out of reach of the first window. The woman driving the truck must have been picking up lunch for her entire office, because I waited about five minutes before giving up and pulling out of the line. This used to be a weekly occurrence (at least), and the only reason it's less frequent now is that I've (almost) learned my lesson about drive-thrus.

The pickup truck started moving the moment I was beside it, and it followed me out of the parking lot. Some people might've had misgivings about leaving just as the line was about to advance, but (and this is the other reason I don't spend a lot of time in drive-thru lines) I always have second thoughts ("do I really need that McTub-o-Lard?") the moment I finish ordering. By the time I pull out, it's because I no longer want the "food," not because I'm disgusted with the line.

Most of my friends have worked fast food drive-thrus, and most of them hate me for this behavior.

Anyway, after giving up on the Triple Bypass Meal with extra cheese (not supersized though, because I suffer the same affliction as White Ninja), I went over to Borders. I've written before of the Trials and Tribulations that have surrounded my attempts to purchase 2600 magazine... Well today they had copies of Blacklisted 411. I've only heard of this magazine once before (when reminiscing about Nelson's Pick-A-Book with xoshua), so I picked up a copy and began to flip through it only to hear someone behind me say "we keep track of people who buy that one too."

I turned around and it was (thankfully) the girl who wanted to join the International Brotherhood of Bad Guys. I didn't buy it, but I did purchase lunch (if the word lunch can be applied to an expensive cup of coffee). Yes, I know. I need to drink less of that crap, but I didn't sleep at all last night, so it's more necessity than luxury. Besides, I'll be heading downstairs soon to see if there's anything good in the sandwich machine, only to give up and buy a can of V8 in a half-assed attempt to convince myself that my diet isn't that bad.

Also in the news, the AEG wants me to accompany her to a court hearning tomorrow where she plans to argue a ticket. I'm totally going if my boss will let me because that's a couple of hours we won't have to spend at work.
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