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June 9th, 2004

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01:04 pm - Ketchup is a vegetable.
I've been thinking about the preposterous idea of swapping Hamilton for Reagan on the ten dollar bill, and I have a better suggestion.

I think we should stick Clinton on something. I'll avoid the obvious "let's put him on the one dollar bill since singles are the preferred currency of strippers" joke (see how I cunningly worked the joke in there anyway? I'm so brilliantly subtle.), but I think we should bump Franklin off the hundred and slap Bill's face on there. After all, Benjamin Franklin wasn't even a president. Besides, having Franklin on the hundred just adds more clout to the pro-Reagan argument:

Congressman A: How can you possibly elevate Reagan to the same level of historic significance as Washington, Jackson and Lincoln?
Congressman B: Hey, don't forget, Franklin's on the c-note. He wasn't even a president.
Congressman A: I can't believe this. Next you'll want to stick a chick on the quarter.
Congressman B: Um, there already is a chick on the quarter.
Congressman A: Uh, no, that's George Washington.
Congressman B: Oh man, I always thought that was an ugly chick!
Mark Russell: (singing) That... that... Dude looks like a lady!
Congressmen A & B: You're not funny.
Mark Russell: I know.
Minus six points to anybody know both knows who Mark Russell is and thinks he's funny.

I also think we should replace the "E PLURIBUS UNUM" on all our curency with "HEY, WE ALL GOTTA LIVE SOMEWHERE." Maybe adopt "The gateway to Canada" as our national motto.
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
Current Music: Wade -- Ben Franklin

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[User Picture]
Date:June 10th, 2004 03:23 am (UTC)
He would've been if I'd been running things.
Ketchup is a vegetable. - Garmonbozia for the soul. — LiveJournal

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