June 9th, 2004
|01:04 pm - Ketchup is a vegetable.|
I've been thinking about the preposterous idea of swapping Hamilton for Reagan on the ten dollar bill, and I have a better suggestion.
I think we should stick Clinton on something. I'll avoid the obvious "let's put him on the one dollar bill since singles are the preferred currency of strippers" joke (see how I cunningly worked the joke in there anyway? I'm so brilliantly subtle.), but I think we should bump Franklin off the hundred and slap Bill's face on there. After all, Benjamin Franklin wasn't even a president. Besides, having Franklin on the hundred just adds more clout to the pro-Reagan argument:
Congressman A: How can you possibly elevate Reagan to the same level of historic significance as Washington, Jackson and Lincoln?Minus six points to anybody know both knows who Mark Russell is and thinks he's funny.
Congressman B: Hey, don't forget, Franklin's on the c-note. He wasn't even a president.
Congressman A: I can't believe this. Next you'll want to stick a chick on the quarter.
Congressman B: Um, there already is a chick on the quarter.
Congressman A: Uh, no, that's George Washington.
Congressman B: Oh man, I always thought that was an ugly chick!
Mark Russell: (singing) That... that... Dude looks like a lady!
Congressmen A & B: You're not funny.
Mark Russell: I know.
I also think we should replace the "E PLURIBUS UNUM" on all our curency with "HEY, WE ALL GOTTA LIVE SOMEWHERE."
Maybe adopt "The gateway to Canada" as our national motto.
Current Mood: mischievous
Current Music: Wade -- Ben Franklin
|Date:||June 10th, 2004 03:17 am (UTC)|| |
um, hamilton wasn't a president, either... how many of you don't realize that?
He would've been if I'd been running things.
I like Franklin so please don't knock him. He's also the only person on U.S. currency that's smiling.
Yeah, but if Clinton were on a bill, you KNOW he'd be smiling. That's allz I'm asayin'. Peas out. (whatever the hell that meant)
Why not take Salmon P. Chase off the $10,000 bill and replace it with Reagan? The only people who would notice the change would have benefited more greatly from Reagan than Mr. P. Chase.
Who would name their child Salmon?
Robert and Elizabeth Holmes of 611 West South St., Belmont Heights, Colorado. Bastards.
Personally, I think Clinton should replace Jackson on the $20. It's difficult to find a president who was more of an insufferable bastard than Andrew Jackson.
I can see your point, but I've always thought that the portrait of Andrew Jackson looked like John Linnell from They Might Be Giants. If we get rid of Jackson it won't be as funny when I scratch out the name on the $20 bill and write "LINNELL."
I'm kidding. I don't actually do that.