Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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Postcards from the bored room

Here at work I'm approaching my quota of 100 megabytes of e-mail, so I've been deleting some of the stuff I have no reason to keep. Here are a few non-sequiturs from my Sent Mail folder. I no longer have any idea what these things refer to:

And just how are you proposing to insert this lumberjack into my nose? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Hey, raw broccoli is the tactical nuclear missile.

I'm sorry I offended your parents when I was on Canadian television in the early '80s.

Good lord woman, what did you do? Use a straw to blow creamed corn into the f-holes?

Yeah, I've been to Cleveland. It's EXACTLY like the land of Honalee, except there's no autumn mist. There used to be, and it attracted all these dragons. And you know, spraying for dragons isn't cheap, so they just got rid of the mist and the dragons were gone like *that.*

Well, I really couldn't really say, but hey, if Val Kilmer wants to take his chances, I think you should let him. Why, does Tad actually own a gun? Because if he does, it might be a little less safe. I don't know about Tad, but I've never fired a real weapon, and I'd be looking for any excuse to do so.

Yeah, you're right. I'd put my lips on it over and over again.

I'd be pretty depressed if I were you. No, wait. I take that back. I'd be playing with my own breasts if I were you.

We put it to a vote, and due to lack of interest, I think we're just going to not have a Thursday this week. Tomorrow will be Friday. Please adjust your calendar accordingly.

I wish I'd known what we were doing before I'd started drawing. I bet she has them analyzed, and the psychologist says "Okay, this one with the green marker. He doesn't have any contact with the rest of your employees, does he?"

By next Monday, I will be one smoove motherfather. This weekend I'm gonna be taking lessons from the master: Shaft!

Urine? Isn't that the opposite of uroute?

I'm not entirely sure what my problem is, either. Oh, and you're wondering why 90% of the time my mood is listed as "tired," "sleepy," or some variant thereof? It's because I stay out until 2:00 AM when I have to work the next morning. Why the hell did I do that again?
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