March 11th, 2004
|11:24 pm - I love Big Lots (and Chinese Food)|
I had some fun with my scanner this evening as a result of a couple of things that happened this afternoon.
First I went to Big Lots on my lunchbreak with the intention of purchasing some new Venetian blinds for my windows. Does Venitian get capitalized? Who knows? I found some, they were inexpensive, and I just finished hanging them up. Regardless. Kyle said recently that he loves Big Lots simply for the variety of foods they have that nobody else will ever carry. Looking for Pineapple Onion Spam? They've got it at Big Lots. X-Men Froot Twisties (whatever those are)? They've got them at Big Lots. Chocolate-covered sardines? Doubtful, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Anyway, I didn't look at food today, but I did check out the "fine" selection of CDs, where I found something with this sticker:
That's right! Remember that guy who had the album that charted awhile ago? He's back with a new CD that's so good, it costs $3.00 and comes with a bonus disc! Wowee zowee! Um, oddly enough, it was a CD I would have purchased anyway. Even more unlikely is this little logo, which adorns all kinds of stuff in the store:
Kids, I didn't make that up. I showed the box to xoshua when I got home, and he thought it was pretty freakin' hilarious. I think I'm gonna be saving it for awhile, in case anybody wants to verify that it's real.
After Big Lots, I returned to work and found the Chinese food I'd ordered waiting for me. This is the fortune I received:
My assumption is that they print out sheets of these things, and that it was miscut by a machine, but in the back of my mind I wish it had been intentional. Finally, here's one from a couple of years ago that I'm never throwing away:
Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: Clefhangers -- Video Killed the Radio Star
|Date:||March 12th, 2004 06:23 am (UTC)|| |
No, you're ugly yet received a fortune.
Maybe one of these days I should brush up on my non-insult humor...
Big Lots rules! I've been meaning to go get a box of Trix or cake mix that's been shipped back from the middle east. My silly brain finds American products with Hebrew or Arabic written on them amusing.
Fortune cookies amuse me.
Once when I was a kid, my mom saw a box of fortune cookies at the grocery store and thought it would be fun to buy them for Hannukkah. (Don't ask me.) At least a fourth of the cookies in the box had the same fortune: "When you're in the bathtub, you can be a spouting whale."
My absolute favorite fortunes come with the book How To Play With Your Food by Penn and Teller. Among them are "That lump is cancer" and "The chef spit in your rice."
|Date:||March 12th, 2004 12:37 pm (UTC)|| |
That second one falls into the category of non-fortune fortune. It's a statement, not a prediction or an anecdote, yet that sort of thing still gets printed on fortune cookie fortunes all the time. The most memorable, genuine non-fortune fortune I ever received was:
"You long to see the great Pyramids of Egypt."
Actually, no. No, I don't. I shouldn't be able to disprove my fortune the instant I read it, y'know?
More or less unrelated, but here's a sampling of the other fortunes that have been sitting at my desk at work:
"Do not be afraid of computers. Be afraid of the lack of them." Gosh, it's so easy to mistake mangled Issac Asimov quotes for the teachings of Confucius...
"You are the guiding star of his existence."
"You are heading for the land of sunshine and adventure."