Werner Heisenberg got pulled over on the highway by a police officer. The cop walked up to his window and asked, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."
For those who didn't get the joke, here's another:
A proton walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks "are you sure?" The proton says "I'm positive."
For those who didn't get that one:
Didja hear about the Energizer bunny? He got arrested on battery charges.
For those still reading:
Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one of them was assaulted. Peanut.