August 17th, 2006
|06:44 pm - Three hours and sixteen minutes left...|
Tonight I'm seeing the 10:00 showing of Snakes on a Plane at Point Cinema with half of the people on my livejournal friends list. Yes, yes, I know, I know. But it's a social outing and I was curious enough to see it anyway... You'll hear about it later, I'm sure. Apparently the rest of the group (or some of 'em, anyway) are getting together beforehand for a pre-movie party, but I'm practicing with offBeat at seven, so I'll have to meet up with them at the theater.
In the meantime I'm watching something called Evil Toons which was recommended to me as an "H.P. Lovecraft movie," but it's more than two thirds over and the closest I've seen to an HPL reference is a book that looks suspiciously like the Necronomicon from the Evil Dead movies. The plot (such as it is) centers around four sorority girls who will do anything (nudge nudge, wink wink) for a hundred bucks. For the more naive readers of my journal, those italics, nudges, and winks are a subversive secret code for "spending the night in a deserted house, accidentally unleashing the malign spirits that live inside the Psuedonomicon (or whatever it's called), and then hiding the bodies from the landlord when he shows up."
IMDB tells me that the female leads were minor porn stars in the '80s, which may explain why they can't act. It's not really titillating (though it's trying), it's not a good horror movie, and its only saving graces are a bit of technically impressive but otherwise pointless cell animation, and Dick Miller slumming it as the landlord. Oh, you don't know who Dick Miller is? Didn't you ever see A Bucket of Blood? No? Oh, well. Never mind, then.
Woah. David Carradine just showed up. And the movie's still lousy.
Current Mood: bored
sounds suspiciously like a cross between Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Bowlerama, and Evil Dead....
Incidentally, what are your thoughts on Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama? It has been recommended to me by people I trust, but I find the title off-putting enough that I haven't seen it yet (read: I'm embarrassed to be seen renting it).
Well, considering that it stars one of my favorite all time screem queens (Lenea Quigley) and is a classic as far as bad movies goes....
Well, those two things alone are not enough to recomend it, but the quality of acting, the implausability of the plot, and the puppetry certenly put it up there, as well as the copious ammout of T&A shots for the redblooded straight guy out there.
I don't think the script was all that great, but the cast did beutifully with what they had to work with.
I'm so sorry. That's a terrible movie. It's not even the type of terrible I like to inflict on other people.
Wow. I sure coulda used that advice a few hours ago.
Yeah, I so could have totally warned you about Evil Toons.
I'll have you know that Jhen Harding, my former tech goddess (if ILV2k was any good at all, she owns most of that) gave me a copy of that movie before she moved to the Twin Cities. She drew a question mark on it, so that the title reads "Evil Toons?" Mainly because the actual toon doesn't show up for much of the movie, and when he does, it's brief and unsatisfying.
Jhen: My roommates were actually sort of upset that the girl with the best boobs only got naked the one time.
Me: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorta there, too.
That girl, by the way, is Monique Gabrielle.
But like I had to tell you THAT.
Her favorite line: "We heard screams and now you're naked and covered in blood! Did something happen?"
Jhen? Oh yes, the "dry tech."
Yeah, you don't know about this because you don't spend time around me, but I talk to myself A LOT. Here's an actual quote from me as I was looking up Monique Gabrielle's career on IMDB: "She looks so familiar. I swear she was in... porn. Huh."
Actually, there were a fair number of good one-liners in Evil Toons, which is too bad because they were the only thing the movie had to offer. The nudity didn't do anything for me thanks to the Internet. I can't even get directions to the nearest synagogue without being assaulted by barely legal teens and white chicks who like black private detectives.
Congratulations sir, you have mastered the single entendre.
...the bartender says "what'll you have?" and the blonde says, "double entendre, straight up."
So he gave it to her.