This is almost exactly what I was thinking to myself.
I need to start exercising more often and eating a better diet if I expect to live long enough to become that elderly relative who is always saying random, vaguely disturbing non-sequiturs. I think my sister is also hoping for that title.
Anyway, today I got that final royalty check from MP3.com. Whoopee. I can cash this puppy and use it to buy 5.9 copies of One Night At McCool's.