January 26th, 2006
|09:53 am - ...and they all have credit cards.|
Clearly you don't need to be literate or intelligent to get a credit card. Here's a small sampling of the things I've had to read since 8:30 this morning:
- "I felt they was a rip off."
- "I got hanged up on twice."
- "This: is what: he said. 'I will not: let you have: your money back.'"
- "My offer still stands because our door's are open and I will correct the problem if she will come in and allow me to, but she has to come in first because we are a beauty salon and obviously we can't do housecall's, but I doubt that she will come in sence she has refused to come in in the past and that makes me think that she is lying, that she is happy with her hair coloring but does not want to pay for it which is stealing plain and simple, so in short I will not issue a refund unless I get to see her hair and see that the coloring was really that bad, sence I have a lot of satisfied customer's, and they are always willing to let me know or give me a chance if they are unsatisfied and even then we always work out our situation's that's the mature way."
- "Dear Esteemed Gentlemen, I personally think this is bullshit."
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Nellie McKay -- Baby Watch Your Back
About items 1 & 2: I have a co-worker who frequently starts sentences with "I seen" rather than "I saw". While she is actually pretty intelligent, this grammatical glitch bugs the hell out of me and makes her *sound* much less intelligent than she is.
Maybe #3 was supposed to be sent as a telegram, with the colons as stops, or pauses for dramatic effect?
#4 sounds like dialogue from Steel Magnolias.
I like #5. It's polite, but direct. It does seem that the polite beginning is undermined by the profanity, but it sounds like a Southern lawyer who has been keeping a big bottle of bourbon at his desk.
Regarding #3: This is actually a common error which I was totally unaware of until I started reading letters as part of my job. I guess: a lot of people misunderstand: what colons are for. I don't think it has to do with pauses so much as pointing out the predicates.
Regarding #4: Oh, thanks a lot for reminding me of Steel Magnolias. When I was a in high school forensics, I did Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Abridged with my friend Tom (Alice's ex, if you feel like reopening old wounds). We consistently lost out to some girls doing a scene from Steel Magnolias. The next year we adapted the first half of the first episode of the radio version The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and kept losing to some other girls doing a deplorable coming-of-age piece called Watermelon Boats in which two teenage girls talk about boys, growing breasts, and getting their period. The moral of the story is that controversial subject matter, however poorly presented, always trumps British humor, especially if it has a femist slant. Feminist British humor would probably cause the judge's head to explode.
Regarding #5: Yes, it is polite (at least, it starts that way) and direct, but I just think that there are words you should avoid in business correspondence. Interesting that you mention lawyers. Most of the letters I've received that contained profanity were written by lawyers who like to throw their weight around and quote laws. Thing is, the federal regulations governing card-based transactions are deliberately vague, and the credit card companies set their own rules. The rules are generally fair, but they don't necessarily mesh with the federal regs regarding cash or check transactions.
Be fair, Hitchhiker's did win Conference and got us a silver medal at State.
I bet the judges were all like the Sci Fi prof I had (the one I mentioned after Rocky). We also lost out with the British humor (Douglas Adams), as much of the class was spent on angsty feminist literature. A lot of it was really, REALLY good, but when it came time for discussions -- hoo boy! It was hard being one of the few guys in that class.
It's a good way to get women interested in Sci Fi, though -- show something that would appeal to them more than the vinyl and boobs the rest of us are used to.
Not that I don't love vinyl and boobs (because I do).
the last one is my favorite lol
Short and to the point!
By the way: I think this is bullshit too.
I can't tell: whether you're being serious.
Anyway, I made this post too soon. This afternoon, one of my co-workers came over with a letter which included a bunch of e-mail correspondence. When the cardholder was told that his money wasn't being refunded, he shot back an e-mail which said something like "This is rape!"
The response was, "no sir, as a rape victim, I can tell you that..."
His response was "then you must know how I feel."
It got worse from there, and it wasn't pretty. Worst part? He's probably getting his money back.
So wait, what's bullshit exactly?
Yeah, when people are hot and you're in a customer service type job, you can never really question their metaphors or comparisons like that (however extreme and exaggerated) and expect them to repond rationally or civilly.
I'd never bring up a personal example like that when dealing with a customer. That's just going to make the interaction worse, not better, for you (because the customer is not in the mood to hear it and is not going to sympathize or back down). But I can see being pissed off. Really, really pissed off.
I worked in a call center customer service type job for a little over a year and learned that you have to stay really *neutral* when someone says something that offends or angers you. If it's PERSONAL and offensive and they won't back down when challenged, you can just hang up-- or I would. But that guy was just an insensitive asshat and wasn't making a personal attack.