Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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Anybody know where I can get a life-size cutout of Catherine Zeta-Jones?

As usual we're doing a Secret Santa thingie at work, and as usual I'm participating, though I'd really rather not. During the last year, the managers from our customer service department moved into our area of the building (which is not part of the CS area at all). They're noisy and sometimes they're aggravating, but we're including them in our Secret Santa exchange because our department is so small and the CS group isn't doing one.

Those with good memories for the inordinately trivial will remember an annoyed post I made about sharing a cubicle wall with one of these managers, and how his computer laughed like Nelson from The Simpsons every time he got an e-mail. Well, that was in July. These days I'm sitting somewhere else entirely, and that's a good thing because now it sings Crazy by Britney Spears.

You can see where this is going, right? That's the guy whose name I drew. I'm not sure what to get him, so I sent out an e-mail to the other three supervisors:

So um, I drew Neil's name for Secret Santa, and I'm not sure what to get him. Generally a cursory glance around the cubicle is sufficient to inspire ideas, but the only common theme I see at Neil's desk is clutter.

Though I can certainly muddle my way through Thursday with goofy, cheap gifts, I'm at a loss regarding Friday, as I'd like to get something unoffensive that doesn't suck. I realize that those two criteria rarely couple in the real world, but I would appreciate any hints or suggestions you might have. I'm looking for serious suggestions in particular, as there really are people in the world who are amused by the body-size condoms at Spencer's, and I'm not in a good position to judge whether Neil is one of them.

Okay then,
One of them sent me a response recommending "late 60's and 1970's music, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Merchandise, and anything Catherine Zeta-Jones or Salma Hayek related." At first I thought this was probably not a serious answer, but the other two have confirmed that this hits the nail more or less on the head. One of them even offered to let me give him her Avon catalog, since one of those two (I don't remember which) models in it. I'd like to get him a life-size cutout of one of them, but I seem to recall that cardboard celebrities are kind of pricey, which is a moot point as I doubt that I'll even be able to find one.

I wonder if he'd like that Second Best of ELO CD I've been vigorously not listening to.
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