|I will stop saying:||...and replace it with:|
|Hey! / 'sup? / Whatup? / |
Wassup with the lowdown on
the skinny of the 411, yo? /
|y'all / all y'all / youse / youse guys||you|
|those dumb bastards||my cellular service provider|
Okay. Little story.
Last week when I got my cell phone bill, I instinctively tossed aside the summary of charges, and went straight for the last page. My balance?
|Current Balance Due:||$239.00- DO NOT PAY|
Isn't it impressive that I can code HTML tables? Anyway, I haven't been overpaying, but my bill indicates that I started the month with an enormous credit balance, which I can't account for. The irresponsible 23-year-old in me wants to ignore this, but the side that's been resolving credit card disputes knows that billing errors, regardless of what's actually on paper, are almost always settled in favor of the merchant.
Is this in fact an error? I don't know. Their phone-accessible bill payment system reflects my bill, and their customer service rep couldn't find any evidence of a credit being applied to my account. "Take it as a blessing," she said. "Don't rock the boat." Great. Wonderful. Can I quote her if they call me on it?
I got my hair cut on my lunchbreak today, and since I had some time leftover, I went to one of their stores to see if they could enlighten me.
Guy #1: Weird. Maybe you got money back from a class action suit.
Me: Can you check?
Guy #1: I dunno. Hey, did we lose a class action suit?
Guy #2: Not that I know of. Not that affects our American subscribers.
Wah hoo. When I was child, my parents taught me that although there are times that I'd like to throttle those who make my life difficult, it's usually more polite just to say "thank you," and hope that they've documented our conversation in enough detail to get themselves fired.