December 3rd, 2003

Wedding day

As Emperor of America, I demand more low-budget horror films.

You've just realized that the budget of the lousy, 70's-vintage, British horror film you're making can't handle the cost of lousy, 70's-vintage, British special effects. Do you:

A) Make Peter Cushing, David Warner and other semi-distinguished, almost-celebrities look stupid, thereby detracting from the lousy, 70's-vintage, Britishness of the film
B) Rewrite the script so that all the demons are invisible.
C) Skip the breathtaking visuals and wow your audience with the aftermath instead (he raises the knife and... CUT TO CU of the mound where he's just finished burying the body!).
D) Accidentally make a comedy.

If you chose any of these (or if you realized that choice D is basically redundant), then you could probably appreciate From Beyond The Grave which I've just finished watching. One has to wonder what people actually thought of movies like this when they came out, because these days they produce one of two reactions: boredom and ridicule. I'll have to go with the second in this case. The film stars Peter Cushing as a creepy antique shop owner, and we get to see the horrible things that happen to the customers who cheat him out of an honest sale. At least, that's what I assume the movie is about -- we never actually see a truly honest sale occur, so either the aftermath of those sales isn't worth our time, or the shop is in a really bad part of London. Either way, I'm glad I don't handle his merchant disputes ("The MIRROR was not as described in that IT CAUSED DAVID WARNER TO MURDER SEVERAL TOOTHY PROSTITUTES."). It's a good thing that this crap isn't out on DVD, because it would be proudly displayed next to my Ed Wood box set.

Anyway, this is kinda cool because I actually know who Joshua Abraham Norton was:

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

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