Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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6:5 When he opened the third seal, I saw there shrinkwrapped a copy of Mac and Me.

I got paid today.

Generally when I get paid I make a short excursion to Best Buy or some such place to test my self-restraint in front of the DVD section.

I went to One of Those Stores and they were selling Mac and Me on DVD. Remember Mac and Me? 'course you don't. It was an incredibly mediocre film. It's a 90 minute McDonald's commercial (complete with Coke-addicted alien (that's Coke, the beverage, not coke, the drug which probably inspired Mac and Me) masquerading as a slightly cuter version of ET for kids too slow to appreciate the real thing. The TV previews featured a bunch of kids bragging about how many times they'd seen it ("Thirty seven! In a row!"). The centerpiece of the film is a dance sequence in McDonalds featuring good ol' Ronald McDonald. Choreography fetishists might read that sentence and try to imagine what incredible feats of footwork Ronnie was doing, but you miss my point: The film culminates in the dance scene which, as far as Hollywood dance scenes go, is at or below average..

Admittedly I liked Mac and Me the first time I saw it, but in my defense I was nine. Two years later the only redeeming quality I could find in the film was that if you squint hard, you can spot the Catty Kathy Garbage Pail Kid on the main character's wall.

Apparently Mac and Me has been out since April, but I didn't know because it's one of those things you just don't look for.

I understand, of course, that film distribution rights can be complicated and cost-prohibitive to obtain, but lots of good stuff is still not available on DVD. Twice Upon a Time? Max Headroom? Shock Treatment??? No, no, and of course not. Nobody wanted a DVD edition of Mac and Me. Nobody. I'd buy "Manos" The Hands of Fate or Robot Monster before I'd ever watch Mac and Me again for free.

Well, actually, I kinda did buy Manos a few years back... And I kind of like it, if only because it's inept, not actually evil.

At least all four Killer Tomatoes movies are out now...
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