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November 18th, 2003

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11:07 pm - Booya, motherfather!
Yeah, so I sat down with Dreamweb again tonight, and successfully mated the English floppy version with the French CD version (screw the Spanish version -- it has major differences from the other two which I don't have the patience to figure out).

Now there's another problem, but it's of a different sort altogether. Yes, I've gotten the game to work properly. I'm going to back it up on CD so I don't have to worry about doing another Frankenstein patch-job on Dreamweb in the future. But first, I'd like to actually finish it, and to do that, I have to finish a puzzle

The puzzle is stupid, and explaining it is a great way to begin the long list of major design flaws in the game.

The puzzle is a door lock. There are two rotating wheels that you have to line up perfectly to get a door to open. There are 64 different combinations. Simple trial and error, right? Wrong, unless you have plenty o' time to spend on checking every combination until you hit the right one. Every time you change the combination, you have to walk two rooms over to see if the door is open. It's not. You go back and try again. Each try probably takes a good twenty seconds, possibly more. Assuming that each try takes you twenty seconds (a conservatively small estimate), going through all 64 combinations will take you a little more than 21 minutes. That's not the point. The point is that the game is full of little things like this. Too much backtracking. Too much trial and error. Add to this the fact that everything in the game environment has some degree of interactivity, and most of it is useless. There are probably thirty objects strewn about the floor of your apartment in the game. You can pick them all up, but you'll only need three.

There's too much interactivity and too much repetition. Nobody has time to finish this sort of game without a walkthru, and the only walkthru online has big, glaring errors such as "use the hole on the hole," when the author meant "use the severed hand on the hole" or "go left twice, then up," when what he really meant is "go RIGHT twice, then up." On top of this, you may be carrying eight different objects that can be used to pry open a metal door, but the game only lets you use the section of pipe. Every time you receive a new piece of information (a frequent occurence), you'll have to return to your apartment, enter the security code, etc., etc., etc. There are other problems, too. These things don't make me happy. There's a pretty good chance I'll end up fixing the walkthru, writing my own installation program, bundling the whole thing together on a CD, and never, ever touching it again.

Oh, um, what else did I do today? I can't for the life of me remember. I got home from work... something else happened, I made supper, something else after that... Went for a walk... Figured out Dreamweb. Huh. I guess it must not have been anything spectacular. Oh, I did yell at one of my roommates about eating up all the network bandwidth. I also have to yell at another one about his recent inability to deliver phone messages in an accurate and timely fashion: "Colin, Jim left a message and said he was going to a thing at 7:30" (the message was delivered at 9:15, thank you very much). Yeah, I won't point any fingers, but the name of the roommate in question begins with "N" and ends with "athan." Lantry (of all people) spoke to him once over the phone and said "he sounded like a moron." Coming from Lantry, this means something. This was the same night I came home to a message on the dry-erase board which read "Colin -- Larry called."

Uh, I guess I've gotten all the spite and annoyance out of my system... I did find out that the soundtrack from Dreamweb was composed by a fellow named Matt Seldon. The only place I can find his name online is in reference to Dreamweb. Matthew Seldon doesn't yield any results, either. Kathy Seldon did, but it was nothing even remotely helpful.

Incidentally, I really am listening to a song called Butt Badger.

It's not very good.
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: Albert Christmas Squirrel -- Butt Badger

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:November 18th, 2003 10:05 pm (UTC)
hot damn... are you not saying anything i have done lately has pissed you off because i can read it easily, or because i just don't piss you off much?

and at least you aren't using AOL dial-up... and watching a 13 inch b&w tv with no dvd player nor vcr...

i really should give my mom her vcr back...
[User Picture]
Date:November 19th, 2003 05:33 am (UTC)
No, your ability to clean up after yourself and the fact that you're pretty considerate of the rest of us offset anything you might do to piss me off. Though you're probably right -- if I could think of anything you're doing to make me mad, I probably wouldn't post it here.

Anyway, due to Sean's inability to comprehend that he's dragging the network down, sometimes I reach sub-dialup connection speeds. I'm completely serious. Don't tell him, but sometimes I disconnect you guys momentarily when it's really bad. I never do this when you're home.
Date:November 18th, 2003 10:06 pm (UTC)
If you would like more ammunition for yelling at the sinister "N," the "thing" I went to was the Eric Idle show at the Barrymore. Not only did I manage a front-row seat, I also got to meet Mr. Idle in person and shake his hand... twice! Next time have Mr. Athan save the answering machine message so you can hear for yourself... That is, if he survives. ~~Evil Jim
[User Picture]
Date:November 19th, 2003 05:38 am (UTC)
No, I figured this was about Eric Idle. I'd decided not to go, but dammit, I would like to know when there've been phone calls for me.
[User Picture]
Date:November 19th, 2003 12:35 pm (UTC)
Mmmm...Butt Badger
[User Picture]
Date:November 19th, 2003 01:37 pm (UTC)
You know, there are a lot of songs on this CD which rely on the word "butt..." There's a song called Angels in my Butt, and another one called Egyptian Slut which starts with the words "I'm an Egyptian slut. I put things in my butt."

I'm sure Dr. Freud would have something to say about this, but I don't think I'd want to know what it is.
Date:May 24th, 2004 12:24 pm (UTC)
a fellow named Matt Seldon. The only place I can find his name online is in reference to Dreamweb

Okay, I did this search for Matt Seldon today again just for the sake of it, and stumbled upon this entry. I hope this excuses this intervention :)

If you search on Google carefully, you'll find out there's a Matt Seldon in a band called Sh'mantra (www.shmantra.com), and I think you can even find some interviews with the guy about his views on music and all. An additional track by Seldon (either untitled or simply called "Dreamweb") was included with the CD version of the game - dunno if you have that :)
[User Picture]
Date:May 25th, 2004 01:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the info -- the is the most helpful thing I've heard on this topic! Having looked at the site, I'm pretty positive that this is the same Matt Seldon. I think I'll check out Sh'mantra's work.
Garmonbozia for the soul.

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