August 9th, 2005
|03:54 pm - Happy Employee Appreciation Week!|
This week has been designated Employee Appreciation Week by upper² management. Usually Employee Appreciation events are limited to the Holiday Party and some mid-week event in August, but apparently our Summer event gets a whole week this time. Each day has been assigned a theme. Here's an excerpt from the e-mail my boss sent out last Friday detailing the events of this week:
Monday is Customer Care Day! It's just one day - you can do it! I'd like to hear no profanity and 50% less sarcasm than usual. They tell me that OJ and doughnuts will be provided."I think there will be cake." Now that's a great way to get people excited. Just think of how much more inspiring the average quotable quote would be if it ended in those prophetic words:
Tuesday is Teamwork Day! BBQ Ribs are being served for lunch. Bring a bib.
Wednesday is Technology Day! We've been teamed with the Systems dept. and given $4/person. We're having a "non-neach beach party" outside between 11:30 and 1:30. Milio's subs, chips, and salads will be provided, please bring own drink and a lawn chair. We'll be playing croquet, frisbee, water gun fights, cards...
Thursday is Individual Expertise Day! We'll be sending a Thank You card to [two other departments].
Friday is Company Spirit Day! I think there will be cake.
All in all, [2001 has] been a fabulous year for Laura and me. I think there will be cake.Yes, yes, I know I'm not clever. I'm too doped up on allergy medication, and it isn't working. Uh, anyway, on one hand, I have often said that events like this are stupid. On the other hand, you know, my job is providing lunch for me twice this week. I don't have to participate if I don't want to, and since we employ so many call center positions, the organizers of the events have tailored everything to fit within my day, not disrupt it. I should just shut up and enjoy it.
-- George W. Bush
The future is scary! I think there will be cake!
-- Frank Zappa
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Myself, I think there will be cake.
-- Henry Ford
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. I think there will be cake.
-- Salvador Dali
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. I think there will be cake...
And I have been.
Lunch today was catered from Smokey Joe's, which I've never heard of before. Good stuff if you like barbeque. Personally I don't, but I'm well aware that I'm in a minority there and I still found plenty to eat. The leftovers are downstairs in the break area, and there was so much extra bottled water that I've had five one-pint bottles. Does that sound like a lot? It is but I need it. I'm still miserable from my cold. The only reason I haven't gone home sick is that it's just a cold. I suffer a perpetual cold between November and April ('strewth -- the errata to Dungeons and Dragons v3.5 Update classifies My Sinuses as "chaotic neutral."). The difference is that this time I'm also struggling with allergies and 94° weather.
I love living in Wisconsin.
Current Mood: lousy but well-fed
Current Music: Too Much Joy -- Goodbye Ohio
|Date:||August 9th, 2005 09:14 pm (UTC)|| |
And what would the Challenge Rating on your sinuses be?
My Sinuses have a CR of 6, plus 1d4 if the party is caught unprepared.
|Date:||August 9th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC)|| |
Okay, your feigned gaming geekery has broken down, dude. CRs just ain't written with given variables.
But points for correctly annotating the dice roll. And for the mental picture of your sinuses overcoming an ogre through sheer mucosity.
Ironically, I based "CR of 6" on this WoTC explanation of how CRs work:
"For example a Dragon with CR 8 can be 3 CR levels higher if the party is caught unprepared."
Dice annotation, however, is so ubiquitous that any geek worth his salt should be able to decipher it. Why you'd be appraising yourself against your own salt, I have no idea.