Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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Happy Employee Appreciation Week!

This week has been designated Employee Appreciation Week by upper² management. Usually Employee Appreciation events are limited to the Holiday Party and some mid-week event in August, but apparently our Summer event gets a whole week this time. Each day has been assigned a theme. Here's an excerpt from the e-mail my boss sent out last Friday detailing the events of this week:
Monday is Customer Care Day! It's just one day - you can do it! I'd like to hear no profanity and 50% less sarcasm than usual. They tell me that OJ and doughnuts will be provided.

Tuesday is Teamwork Day! BBQ Ribs are being served for lunch. Bring a bib.

Wednesday is Technology Day! We've been teamed with the Systems dept. and given $4/person. We're having a "non-neach beach party" outside between 11:30 and 1:30. Milio's subs, chips, and salads will be provided, please bring own drink and a lawn chair. We'll be playing croquet, frisbee, water gun fights, cards...

Thursday is Individual Expertise Day! We'll be sending a Thank You card to [two other departments].

Friday is Company Spirit Day! I think there will be cake.
"I think there will be cake." Now that's a great way to get people excited. Just think of how much more inspiring the average quotable quote would be if it ended in those prophetic words:
All in all, [2001 has] been a fabulous year for Laura and me. I think there will be cake.
          -- George W. Bush

The future is scary! I think there will be cake!
          -- Frank Zappa

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Myself, I think there will be cake.
          -- Henry Ford

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. I think there will be cake.
          -- Salvador Dali

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. I think there will be cake...
Yes, yes, I know I'm not clever. I'm too doped up on allergy medication, and it isn't working. Uh, anyway, on one hand, I have often said that events like this are stupid. On the other hand, you know, my job is providing lunch for me twice this week. I don't have to participate if I don't want to, and since we employ so many call center positions, the organizers of the events have tailored everything to fit within my day, not disrupt it. I should just shut up and enjoy it.

And I have been.

Lunch today was catered from Smokey Joe's, which I've never heard of before. Good stuff if you like barbeque. Personally I don't, but I'm well aware that I'm in a minority there and I still found plenty to eat. The leftovers are downstairs in the break area, and there was so much extra bottled water that I've had five one-pint bottles. Does that sound like a lot? It is but I need it. I'm still miserable from my cold. The only reason I haven't gone home sick is that it's just a cold. I suffer a perpetual cold between November and April ('strewth -- the errata to Dungeons and Dragons v3.5 Update classifies My Sinuses as "chaotic neutral."). The difference is that this time I'm also struggling with allergies and 94° weather.

I love living in Wisconsin.
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