Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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"...watching Mother Nature's knees bending / everybody loves an attractive person covered in pie..."

Does anybody have one o' them Coke bottle banks? My pulled staple collection is starting to get pretty big, and though it wouldn't fill a quarter of one of those banks. I'd like to transfer it to one.

Anyway, today at work we had the United Way Pie Toss where disgruntled employees get to pay to hit their manager in the face with a pie. It raised about $120 which is pretty good, and marks the first United Way fundraiser not conducted under my co-leadership of the committee. Heather and I stepped down a few months back due to our work obligations (you'd never guess by reading my journal, but it was too much to balance), and we're both thrilled that things are working out for the new committee leaders who have so much more energy and verve than we ever did... I can't speak for Heather, but I've always felt like Eeyore or Marvin the paranoid android about asking people to donate money -- even when it's for a good cause. I like being involved with this stuff. I like coming up with clever ideas for e-mails. I don't even mind fielding the "but don't the United Way promote sodomy?" questions (and we do get them). I especially like being able to do these things without having to overmanange my schedule to get them done, which is what I had to do when I was the committee co-chair. I wasn't even the hard-working half, and it was too much.

I paid extra for the privilege of a guaranteed pie-in-the-face for my boss, meaning that I got to walk up to her and push it into her face, as opposed to simply throwing it. She says I'm not getting a raise next year.

One of the current co-chairs of the committee got volunteered at the last minute as a pie recipient against her will, but she was a good sport about it. People happily came downstairs to get her and it wasn't long before we ran out of non-dairy whipped topping, proving true the old axiom (and recent Tears for Fears album title), everybody loves an attractive person covered in pie.

I went out on my lunchbreak to PrePlayed where I ran into emjay42 who can't seem to go two inches in that store without pointing out something that I'd like, and ten things that I wouldn't. He's generally right about that kind of thing, but that didn't stop me from buying a CD by The Hamburgers because it looked interesting. I was right, Matt: they're a punk/power-pop trio. Imagine Green Day covering Da Yoopers. I also picked up a Hawkwind album, the King Missle album I've always felt so bad about selling, and something I'm too embarrassed to name, all for less than it would have cost me to purchase any two of them new.

Going back to last night, I spent most of the evening at my parents' house. They were out of town for a few days, so my sister and I took turns taking care of the pets. Last night it was up to me, so I went, made dinner for myself, and watched Candy von Dewd which had been described to me as a "1960s sexploitation flick." I know you've never heard of it, but I'd like to warn you about it anyway.

Candy Von Dewd is not a 1960s sexploitation flick, but rather a very low-budget film from 2002 made in the style of 1960s sexploitation sci-fi. Like its precursors, Candy Von Dewd is an inept piece of trash with just enough sex to be titilating, but not enough to make it unacceptable for network TV. Briefly, the story takes place a few centuries in the future, when the human race has become more or less impotent, and so the best and brightest have been sent to explore the cosmos and impregnate whatever life they find, intelligent or otherwise. The title character is some kind of government agent who has like, three lines of dialogue and no purpose in the plot.

The thing is, the foibles of, say, Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! were unintentional. With Candy Von Dewd (which sounds really stupid when you say it out loud, by the way), some of the imperfections are intentional nods to its forbears. Others are just really bad filmmaking, and I can't tell which are which most of the time. Anyway, all you need to know about Candy Von Dewd can be summarized by the one memorable quote on the film's IMDB page.

After the movie and looking after the animals, I made what was supposed to be a quick stop at my friend Monica's place to pick up a key to her parents' house (so's I can look after their dog when they're all gone), but it turned into a two hour discussion of life, the universe, and why men are attracted to women who use too much hairspray. I got home late, went to bed even later, slept badly and was considering taking a sick day right up until the moment that I realized it was 9:20 and I was on my second cup of coffee.
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