Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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"President Bush is the Jessica Simpson of politics."

Those words were uttered by my sister this evening as we drove back to town after celebrating her 21st birthday dinner with my parents.

Sarahjane went vegetarian a few months back, so family dinners centered around her have been interesting. It's not that we don't like meatless meals, because we do -- my mom often cooks without meat anyway. It's the soy-based almost-meat products my sister brings home that weird us out. I'm not talking about Boca. I'm talking about the tofurkey that tasted like Play-Doh! with soy sauce. I've eaten enough liquid smoke-drenched slabs of tofu (better known as Soydogs) to have decided that if I ever go that route, I'll do it without the meat substitutes. My sister, on the other hand, is the girl who when she was sixteen ate a pound of bacon in front of the TV every day with her football captain boyfriend (while weighing less than you did when you were four, I might add). Giving up meat is not something that came easily for her.

Sarahjane's dinner choice of biscuits and gravy struck me as odd, and since she can't eat pork sausage she brought over a package of soysage. I didn't think it would work very well (how do you make gravy out of something with no fat?), but half a stick of butter later the soysage was fried and (thanks to waaaay too much sage and marjoram) it made a fine gravy. The only appreciable difference was the lack of disgusting bits of gristle. Uh, anyway, there was also asparagus and a salad and a chocolate pudding cake... It was a good meal.

Of course there were the expected presents, and I gave her a card with the punchline "Iraqtile Dysfunction."

What she really wanted to do for her birthday was see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but in the interest of not having to hang out with her friends this weekend (we're terribly alike, my sister and I...), she's going camping with her boyfriend. That doesn't mean I'm not seeing the movie, though. Tom and I are going tomorrow night, and I can imagine other people asking if I want to join them on the weekend. Even keeping these things in mind I'm tempted to take off work early tomorrow to catch a matinee if things are slow.

It's also just starting to hit me that I ate something called soysage tonight. I think it's time to update my Personal Code of Conduct with a new rule:
14. Don't eat anything with a stupid name which you wouldn't be caught dead saying in public, not that you'd be talking in public if you were dead anyway.
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