Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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How many times can you rhyme "hand" with "hand?"

I feel really lousy, like I've just come out of a full-body cast. My reflexes seem limp, and moving around isn't fun. It's not quite an ache, but it seems more physically demanding than usual.

I must be coming down with something. It hit me abruptly last night while Ellen was over, and it's only gotten worse. I hope I don't make her sick. I went to work anyway, but I didn't feel like going out on my lunchbreak (and, coincidentally, I had packed a lunch), so I just worked through it. This is good. I left early on Tuesday for a dental appointment, and if I take half of my lunchbreak tomorrow I won't need to take sick time to compensate.

...unless I end up taking tomorrow off.

But I don't know if that will happen, because part of my general physical discomfort might be due to the fact that someone has devoted a blog to That Pepsi Girl.

Even worse is an e-mail I got this morning from the woman who (if you remember that far back) sent me THE ALL-AMERICAN BALD EAGEL around this time last year. She isn't willing to stop forwarding messages, so I made her promise to "only send the best ones." Over the course of about three months, the occasionally funny joke in my e-mail became a deluge of insipid forwarded messages with subjects like "Kitty Cuties" and "The American Pact of Friendship." I can't block her messages because I need to e-mail her occasionally, and I'm told by others that complaining to her boss (who also gets the same e-mails) doesn't help.

This is the most ridiculous, saccharine thing she's ever sent me, ridiculous mostly because it's so badly written:

To: Me. From: Her. Subject: FW: If and only if.....
If I could catch a moonbeam And hold it in my hand I'd let you ride that moonbeam Direct to my loving hands. If I could catch a hug And keep it in a jar I'd send by post to you that hug No matter where you are. If in the future oh so far You ever need a hand Just call on me, your loving friend And I'll extend my hand. For I don't know What I would do If in my life you weren't. So if you are a friend indeed You'll show some care and love To Me,,,Your humble friend in need And you will always know That as a friend I love you so. !!!!!!DON'T JUNK THIS EMAIL!!!!!! SEND this to 10 people in the next 10 minutes! Who knows what could happen if you don't? The world could break apart wheil you are waiting! I BETTER GET THIS BACK FROM YOU! Then when you get it back email a friendly h i to all the addresses on the list you don't re cognise. Maybe one of them, is the love of your life and you don't even realise!

The world could break apart wheil I am waiting, huh? I bet you can't guess what I did with this e-mail after I copied it into my journal.

It's 4:46. I leave quite soon. I can't wait.

I'm not exhausted enough to collapse, but I wouldn't mind holding my bed down for a while.
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