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January 28th, 2005


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09:05 am - The difference between fun bad movies and bad bad movies
Just waiting to be picked up for B-Fest now... 24 hours of B-movies sounds daunting, but I can handle it. I checked out the schedule on the B-Fest website, and I've pasted it below. Movies in bold are ones I've seen, movies underlined are ones I own, which is scary enough in itself. Movie's I'm actually afraid of are denoted in red.

Friday, January 28 2005
  • 6:00 p.m. Intro

  • 6:05 The Island of Terror

  • 7:35 The Apple sponsored by The Soylent Green Party

  • 9:10 Mystery Short

  • 9:25 The Swarm sponsored by C.H.E.W.

  • 11:25 Raffle for Door Prizes

  • 11:45 The Wizard of Speed and Time (the short, not the movie)

  • midnight Plan 9 From Outer Space


Saturday, January 29 2005
  • 1:20 a.m. Black Belt Jones

  • 2:50 Mystery Short

  • 3:05 Beauty and the Robot

  • 4:40 Death Wish 3 sponsored by Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension

  • 6:15 Project Moonbase

  • 7:20 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

  • 9:00 breakfast break

  • 9:30 Robot Monster sponsored by American Cultist Omnimedia

  • 10:40 Class of Nuke 'Em High

  • 12:10 p.m. Mystery Short

  • 12:25 Lassie: The Adventures of Neeka

  • 1:40 Ice Pirates sponsored by the B-Movie Message Board

  • 3:15 Earth vs. The Flying Saucers sponsored by Bad Movie Planet

  • 4:40 Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo sponsored by Stomp Tokyo
Yes, I'm somewhat frightened of watching Death Wish 3 and Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo, the former because of its mention in TMBG's theme for the Anaheim House of Blues (lyrics here), the latter because, well, who isn't?

Our plans for the day have undergone a major change because the house we were hoping to stay at may not be available after all, but the operative word in that sentence is "may." We'll play it by ear, I guess. Something like this always seems to happen.

In similar bad movie news, I notice that Alone in the Dark opens today. I really want it to not suck (no really, I do), but Hollywood has never been good at adapting Lovecraft (or in this case, video games inspired by Lovecraft), so I don't hold out much faith. General consensus online seems to match this review from the Internet Movie Database which states that "[t]his is quite possibly the worst film I've seen period and I used to work for Troma." Ouch.

The trailer is full of Christian Slater and Tara Reid kicking ass which, if you know HPL's works, just doesn't fit. Some day I'd like to see a good studio-backed feature film based on his works, but the best I'm aware of is the not very well-liked In the Mouth of Madness. Hollywood thrives on sex, action, and badass heroes with rippling muscles. HPL is all about quiet atmospheres of creeping insanity and effeminate college professors. There's no real semblance between the Cthulhu mythos and any pre-existing religion but Hollywood always has to draw parallels to Christian theology by inserting words like "Hell," "Satan," and "demons" just in case we don't get it. This cheapens the effect in ways you wouldn't understand if you've never read him.

Anyway, AITD: The Movie is gonna suck, and if anybody wants to waste $8.50 at it I'll gladly hate it with you, but it's the kind of movie that Sean tends to buy on DVD without seeing it first, so I'll probably see it in a few months anyway.
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Information Society -- What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy Mix)

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:xoshua
Date:January 28th, 2005 11:31 pm (UTC)
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how could you forget steven dorff!!!!! damn you!!!!

3 ninjas??? ha ha ha!!!
[User Picture]
From:ribsinbacon
Date:January 29th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
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Its got the Wildey pistol in it, it can't be all that bad! (Death Wish 3) Just because a movie has some cheasy lines, doesnt mean its all bad!
Charles Bronson is the man!
[User Picture]
From:brain739
Date:January 29th, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)
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i'd have to say the high point of the evening for me was definitely "the apple." after seeing that, i can't wait for 1994 to get here. after all, it's gonna be all night coke-orgies and pop music. sweet.

>brain
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:January 31st, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)

Hey hey hey, Bim's on the way!

(Link)
Agreed -- The Apple reaches such a sublime level of awfulness that I can't wait to get my hands on a copy (and amazingly it's available on DVD).
[User Picture]
From:brain739
Date:January 31st, 2005 11:52 pm (UTC)

Re: Hey hey hey, Bim's on the way!

(Link)
i know. my girlfriend was so taken with it that she went on amazon and bought a copy the next night. i'm hoping to make it the crown jewel in my own small scale b-fest 2k5.5. that is; until i can get a copy of street fighter (starring raul julia, kylie minogue, and the incomparable van damme.)
Garmonbozia for the soul.

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