Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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"You have a weak connection to XSEXMENX."

So what'd I do today? Well... ribsinbacon and I got together and had lunch at Famous Dave's. We discussed On The Road with Chuck & Bernie, the revival of ManWhore, our failed Presidental Campaign, and whether or not I should order a corn muffin. After lunch, we drove around looking for wireless access points for his pocket PC, and discovered that people give their networks even stupider names than they give to their pets ("You have a strong connection to network SMUCKERS69.").

Anyway, on my way home I decided to fill my gas tank. It's not really my gas tank -- it's the loaner from the shop that's fixing my car. I parked the car, got out, and was perplexed by the gas cap (or rather, the little door that covers the gas cap (there's probably a name for it, but it escapes me for the moment)). I can find the door, but it's obviously not meant to open by hand. I hunted around inside the car, couldn't find a switch for it, tried to pry it with my key (not something I'd do on my own vehicle (and no luck either, by the way)), and then went into the glove compartment for the owner's manual which, as anyone with a penis knows, should only be done as a last resort. Where's the switch? It's in the back of the glove compartment. This will haunt me for the rest of my days:
Dealer: Now this sweet baby comfortably seats seventeen, gets 500 miles to the gallon city, slices, dices, does your foreplay and your taxes, warns you if you're giving your wireless network a stupid name, and is priced to own at $6.22.

Me: How do I get into the gas tank?

Dealer: Little button in the glove compartment.

Me: Uh huh. Tell me about this '89 Yugo over here.
I got home after the gas fiasco and found Nate and Mikey in front of The West Wing... exactly where they were when I left almost six hours earlier. The West Wing is Nate's Show, in the same way that Twin Peaks is My Show. I sat down to say hi, and didn't get up for about two hours. At some point Nate's cousin from downstairs came up to say hello, and another cousin from Way The Hell Up North showed up.

In one of the episodes the secret service gives everybody new codenames, and CJ's is Flamingo. Mikey and I decided that we all needed codenames, too. He's Kneesock, Nate is Ninja Midget, and Nate's cousin Tyler is Punkin. One of our housemates -- I won't say which -- is Buttplug ("Buttplug is covering the rear entrance. Repeat, Buttplug is covering the rear entrance"). My codename is The Majestic Colin, but since that's wordy the S.S. will probably choose to shorten it to Colin.

Yeah, The West Wing is pretty good. It just got turned off though. Apparently everybody's going drinking. Am I invited? Sure. Am I going? What do you think? No, Ellen just called, so I'ma post this and head over to her place.
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