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November 27th, 2004


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06:20 pm - Epiphany
If you were a vampire, would you attack a flying pig? I don't think it would be a good idea.

First of all, you'd have to catch the pig. Obviously once the pig finds out that you're a vampire, he's going to avoid you at all costs. On top of that, he can fly, which probably gives him quite a bit more mobility than you have.

Ellen suggests that the bat-transforming variety of vampire might be more inclined to attack a flying pig, but I see problems here, too. Number one, a bat is very small. It's doubtful that the quantity of blood a vampire might consume while in bat form would contain enough nourishment to sustain him for very long. The vampire would have to feed from the pig several times over the course of a day to get the same level of nourishment as if he were to attack in human form. If the vampire did attack in human form, the pig would probably be able to fly away, in which case the vampire's teeth would just rip out of the pig's flesh, or the vampire's teeth would come out and he'd be stuck with no fangs.

I guess the vampire could anticipate the takeoff and turn into a bat as soon as his fangs were in the pig, but that seems like an awful lot of work.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Furd Burkle -- Have It Your Way Then

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:agaysexicon
Date:November 28th, 2004 12:25 am (UTC)
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What if the vampire turned into a bat, latched onto the pig, then turned into human form? It'd have to be close to the ground, or someone might get hurt. But it might be done. Or you know, the pig could crush the vampire or vice versa, and then the blood would be all over the ground and not in the vampire.
[User Picture]
From:agaysexicon
Date:November 28th, 2004 12:27 am (UTC)
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It would be less work once he's on top of the pig. Or he could just turn into a bat, fly over the pig, turn manish and then once the pig is on the ground, feast.

But how would it work if it was a greased pig, I wonder...
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 28th, 2004 12:48 am (UTC)
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Damn Nick, do you have flying pig-hunting experience that I wasn't aware of?
[User Picture]
From:angelic667
Date:November 29th, 2004 03:49 am (UTC)
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These were my thoughts as soon as I read the post. :-)
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 29th, 2004 03:56 am (UTC)
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But my point is, why the pig when there are other, more convenient sources of blood?
[User Picture]
From:angelic667
Date:November 29th, 2004 04:01 am (UTC)
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Sometimes you just want pig. And maybe it's more than just the nourishment of the blood. Maybe flying pig is a delicacy and has a distinctive flavor, subtle and refined. Or maybe the vampire does it for sport. And there are not enough of them left from previous hunts. If vampire ruled the world, would they only be able to hunt flying pigs once a year and wear blaze orange?
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 28th, 2004 12:25 am (UTC)

Epiphany

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me tinks that you two are analizing vimpier piggy hunters to much
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 28th, 2004 12:47 am (UTC)

Re: Epiphany

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Vampire Piggy Hunter was the best game ever.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:November 29th, 2004 10:14 am (UTC)
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This is one of the best LJ entries I've seen in a long time!
Garmonbozia for the soul.

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