Colin Timothy Gagnon (sacredspud) wrote,
Colin Timothy Gagnon

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Does that guy ever talk about anything besides coffee?


When I came in to work this morning, I turned on my PC and the lights at my cubicle, and headed over to the table by the window for a nice, hot cup of Good Morning America. I returned to my desk, sat down, and about ten minutes later got up to retrieve some printouts.

When I got back, my coffee was gone.

Gone. Completely. The cup was there, but the coffee was not. As I was trying, perplexedly, to figure out what had happened, one of my coworkers tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Ohmygawd, I had to dump out your coffee. A fly flew into my cup and I didn't want him to make you sick."

For anyone who doesn't understand why people like me need to drink coffee in the morning, well, this is a perfect example. Normally this woman is as smart as a whip (and normally I don't say things like "smart as a whip"), but before her morning coffee she's... Well, let's go over the problems with her logic here:
  1. She assumes that the fly will contaminate other cups. Um, the fly flew into her cup. Unless she poured her coffee back into the pot before I poured mine, I'm safe.

  2. She assumes that the fly is male. Have you ever verified somebody's gender by brushing aside his or her skirt? Imagine that the skirt is wet and you have to use a tweezers. It ain't that easy, especially for someone who wears thicker glasses than I do.

  3. She assumes that the fly is going to make me sick. Granted we don't serve our coffee at the same lap-scalding temperatures as McDonalds, but I've read more than once that coffee can be as effective as toothpaste for killing oral bacteria. Between that and the fact that it was too hot to drink, I think I'm pretty safe from flybourne illness. Especially illness carried by flies in somebody else's cup of coffee.

  4. She assumes that I care. I just got to work! I haven't had any coffee yet! Frankly, I'm amazed that so many of us actually make it in every day without killing somebody on the road due to weariness. As long as it's hot, black, and liquid, I don't care what else is in it. Not, at least, until I've had three cups and I can make a sentences that has it's gramaticness rite!
Anyway, new coffee is brewing, and I keep trying to drink out of my empty cup.

Oh, and to answer the question in the subject, yes, yes I do. Sometimes I talk about They Might Be Giants.
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