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October 20th, 2003

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12:26 pm - Um, what?
I ran an errand at the mall during my lunchbreak today and, well, here's why I'm thinking of taking all my lunches at my desk from now on:

Guy in suit #1: Actually, members of the Pristine Church of Madison are encouraged to belong to another religion.
Guy in suit #2: That's right. The principals of the Pristine Church of Madison will augment your spiritual beliefs, not replace them. You can add them to whatever you already believe.
Guy in suit #1: As long as, you know, your beliefs aren't too radical.
Me: What if my beliefs are kind of tubular and gnarly?
Guy in suit #2: Well... comments like that...
Guy in suit #1: If you say things like that you're liable to end up in a Higher Room of Lesser Damnation.

I'm not even kidding. If you'd like to read the pamphlet they gave me, I scanned it to my website, and you can view it here. They asked me to make copies and distribute them, so I figure I'm doing them a favor.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Dar Williams -- The Honesty Room

(5 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 12:17 pm (UTC)
That's what you get for going to the mall...
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 02:01 pm (UTC)

But just imagine the possibilites!

"Dude, don't knock belief augmentation till you try it. Take me. First, I'd always just believed in God. Then I got one of those do-it-yourself augmentation kits, and pretty soon I believed in an all-loving God. Now, with the help of the Pristine Church of Madison, I believe in an all-loving God who BREATHES FIRE. Belief augmentation ROCKS!!!"

This, I think, is the kind of statement that nets you a stay in a Lower Room of Greater Damnation.
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 04:57 pm (UTC)

Re: But just imagine the possibilites!

You oughta check out the pamphlet they gave me. Besides being incredibly informative and more well written than... well... something else... uh, where whas I? Oh, yes. It's really scary.
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 05:34 pm (UTC)

For security reasons, we cannot give out our contact information

... Lest we get arrested for making morons pay $1500 for a book, eight crystals and a direct connection to the Demon that Hates them.

"Some people are born stupid, just as others are born smart." I wonder how stupid you need to be to not be insulted by that. Stupid enough to give strangers $1500, I guess.
[User Picture]
Date:October 20th, 2003 07:56 pm (UTC)
Dude that reeks of cult.
Um, what? - Garmonbozia for the soul. — LiveJournal

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