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September 14th, 2004


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04:54 pm - Colin vs. Army of Dumbness
Yowza. I should just give up on getting anything done today. As I mentioned earlier in the year, Visa has been making major changes in the way their disputes are processed. One of the changes is an online documentation imaging system for which we all need scanners. The new scanners came today, and I haven't been able to use mine yet because of all the constant interruptions from people who ask for help but are totally unwilling to accept it.

There comes a point when an explanation becomes too difficult. The explanation of one thing requires elaboration on another, which also has facets that need clarification... If diagrammed, these discussions would look something like a tree, each detail branching into other details, each having its own branches of footnotes, justifications and annotations. When I realize that a conversation is headed in this direction, I usually evaluate it quickly, and if it's not a life or death situation, I simply clam up and say that I don't know.

Sometimes this is totally the wrong thing to do.

Today it was a discussion about where temporary work files should be stored. I suggested that one of my coworkers create a folder on her desktop and clear its contents regularly. Somebody else became horrified at the idea that I was making changes to the contents of my C: drive. "The fat guy on TechTV says that's where your computer keeps its brain!"

At times like this, it's hard to keep my cool. I sweat. I grit my teeth. I suppress the urge to belt the offender about the mouth and mouth her about the belt. I curse Leo Laporte for being innocently misinterpreted. If I were some moody sixteen-year-old with a fondness for black fingernail polish I'd say something like ".-~=*sigh*=~-." I'm not though, so I'll have to content myself with an erroneous feeling of superiority.

Thankfully, this is all taken care of now. By "taken care of" I mean "out of my hands." Our hideously overworked network guy will be getting an e-mail soon asking that he make all C: drives read-only. I'm sorry, but I'm just going to let him stew over how to respond to that one.

Also on the subject of work, tomorrow is another United Way Casual Day here. You can get the Special-Edition Director's Cut of the e-mails I sent out here:

Tomorrow's Casual Day themes are the Wizard of Oz and Jeans. Jeans will probably be a theme from now on, because upper management has decided that the phrase "casual day" is too ambiguous. They'll be jeans days from now on. The e-mails -- along with e-mails that didn't make the cut -- are featured below.

Here's the annoucement. The photoshopping was quick and dirty, but it took me forever because I had to find appropriate jeans for each character.


This is the reminder. We'd come up with another idea for this picture in which Dorothy was saying "Y'know, we wouldn't have to do this if you were wearing jeans." That one was scratched because it's not obvious that she's applying oil to the Tin Man. The original version of this one, incidentally, had Dorothy saying "Can I change mine?" after the Ton Man's line, but it made the picture too cluttered.


This one was nixed because it's "too pushy." Also, we were unable to find a picture of the house from the movie.


This one was vetoed before I even put it together because it's not obvious that the witch is looking into a crystal ball. Also, the joke would have been a little obscure for some of the people who work here:


This one was deemed "possibly offensive."


This one... um...


Oh, and Ash, I'm sorry about the subject of this post. As far as I'm concerned, a definition becomes valid when it worms its way into common usage.

Also, in case anybody cared, Offbeat didn't kick me out of the group immediately after our first practice. They did it in the middle.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Offbeat -- Thriller

(7 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:tlhinganhom
Date:September 14th, 2004 11:17 pm (UTC)
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Oh wow... Kudos to you for not exploding. "That's where the computer keeps its brain!" ...and this is where I keep my rifle.

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 15th, 2004 04:58 am (UTC)
(Link)
You know, I really should have said something like that. I really don't think the e-mail will come of anything. When I started working here, we had about 150 employees and two IT guys. We're up to 300 employees and one IT guy, and he's not good at responding to concerns. For awhile I thought he was just lazy, but it's become very apparent that he responds to inane requests by making promises and forgetting about them.

Maybe it's different where you work, but this is a better strategy than it sounds.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:September 15th, 2004 04:21 am (UTC)

I care

(Link)
I'm sorry to hear about Offbeat. In the middle of practice yet! Wow.

As always, the united way reminders are great. My favourites so far are the Calvin & Hobbes and Homestar Runner batches. However, from one of your previous posts, I have to say that whoever is in charge of the dress code at your company wouldn't know casual if it bit them in the face.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 15th, 2004 04:45 am (UTC)

Re: I care

(Link)
Actually, I was kidding about Offbeat. I'm still in the group, I just wanted to get a reaction out of people.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:September 15th, 2004 07:41 am (UTC)

be thankful this reply has no ham, etc.

(Link)
It's a good thing you told me before I gave a WTF to Jon. In that case, I hope things are going well and continue to do so.
Colin vs. Army of Dumbness - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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