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August 30th, 2007


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10:37 am - Dick Wolf presents Training for Terrorists
I have a jar on my desk which is labelled "401K". It is full of pennies.

At least, it's supposed to be full of pennies.

Today I got in to work, and it was empty. No big deal. The only coins I ever drop into the jar are pennies, and when it is completely full, it probably holds twenty dollars in change. Possibly less. In three years, I have cashed it out once, and that was a few months ago. And I know I've been using the phrase "full of pennies" up to this point, but "full" as of yesterday evening was somewhere around a dollar.

Anyway, this morning it was empty, which is mildly annoying. I put the pennies in the jar more to be rid of them than to save them, but the absence of the pennies means that somebody's been at my desk screwing around with my stuff. My annoyance turned to delight when I saw that someone had used them to decorate the desk of a coworker who called in sick. The pennies are spread over the surface of the desk and standing on edge. This must have taken a fair amount of time to set up, and keeping the pennies in place until he comes in tomorrow will be quite a chore.

Sadly, I can't send you a photo of this, because the self-appointed Office Gestapo (not her official title) informs me that the camera on my PDA constitutes -- not kidding here -- a "breach of Homeland Security", especially if I share the photo online. I asked her how this is a matter of national importance, and she explained that the layout of our office could be extrapolated from the blurry, close-up, 1.3 megapixel image. When I said that the view would likely be confined only to a small portion of the cubicle, she called me naive and said that any idiot with Photoshop could enhance the image to determine the serial numbers on the phone, computer, and locked cabinets. I asked her if she thought they'd be able to discern the year embossed on each coin, and she said "we're catching terrorists, not numismatists!"

After laughing hysterically at her own joke, she said, "seriously, put the camera away. I won't report you, but put it away and don't take it out again."

I went back to my desk to find look up the definition of numismatist.

In any case, I'd like to remind anyone out there who takes prime-time cop shows too seriously that image enhancement doesn't work that way, although you can use Photoshop's gamma correction tools to see up people's skirts.
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: Talking Heads -- Burning Down the House

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 30th, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
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Psycho. Absolutely. Psycho.
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From:tlhinganhom
Date:August 30th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
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How can you even breathe through all the stupid?
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From:spidermoon77
Date:August 30th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)

??

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Who is this? do we have a new weirdo upstairs I don't know about?

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From:fuzzyinthehead
Date:August 30th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
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That is the third biggest reason I can't stand CSI. Digital photos can be enlarged that way, but only if the cameras are taking pictures at an extremely high resolution. Only heavy duty professional photographers in specialized situations (ie the guys on the sidelines of a sporting event with 6' lenses) will pay for them. The average PDA/cellphone camera is crap. Crap, crap, crap.

The second biggest reason I hate CSI is the turnaround time on DNA matching. Even in a miracle would with no backlog, DNA sequencing just doesn't go that quick. It just doesn't. The biggest reason I hate CSI is because it's making people believe that these things are possible. Fuckers.
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From:seanorange
Date:August 30th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
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There's a sequence in Superbad where the cops complain about how semen magically solves everyhing. "Maybe if he had jerked off on the guy, THEN popped him in the jaw, we'd have an open-and-shut case!"

Hahaha

~Sean
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From:seanorange
Date:August 30th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

~Sean
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From:evil_jim
Date:August 30th, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC)
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Where did you get the 4o1k jar idea? 'Cause I got it from OddTodd.com
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From:sacredspud
Date:August 30th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
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You've shown me OddTodd so I've seen his jar, but I stole the idea from you.
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From:evil_jim
Date:August 30th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
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BANJOOOO!!!
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From:the_tick27
Date:August 30th, 2007 10:35 pm (UTC)
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KAZOOIE!!!



twooie???

sry bad nintendo joke
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From:seanorange
Date:August 30th, 2007 10:29 pm (UTC)
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BANJO!!!!!

Also, waffle.

~Sean
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From:the_tick27
Date:August 30th, 2007 10:33 pm (UTC)
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Lets start a band called Training for Terrorists
Dick Wolf presents Training for Terrorists - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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