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August 18th, 2006


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11:57 pm - Snakes in a Review
Much as I hate to admit it, I was wrong.

Snakes on a Plane is one of the best films I've ever seen. It's a far cry from being THE best, but I don't think it's off the mark to call it Citizen Kane of our time.

Everything comes together so perfectly: the acting, the shot composition, everything is so perfectly and deliberately rendered that you can't possibly see anything but what director David R. Ellis wanted you to see. It's like having a direct pipeline into his view of the human condition.

I'm sorry, I can't keep this up.

Snakes on a Plane is a better movie than I thought it was going to be. It's a slick, well-directed and well-produced package. Its greatest strength is that it's pretty much exactly what everybody expected, but its greatest weakness is that it's pretty much exactly what everybody expected.

The plot, for those who won't be seeing it or don't care or whatever, is that some guy gets murdered, and some other guy witnesses it. The guy who killed the guy sends some guys after the other guy, but Samuel L. Jackson is laying in wait at the other guy's apartment, and dispatches the guy's guys. The other guy has to fly from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify against the guy, but the guy puts snakes on the plane under the pretext that-- oh, never mind. Shortly into the movie, the titular snakes are unleashed on the titular* plane, and pretty soon we get to see Samuel L. Jackson (whose level of coolness is so intimidating that I simply can't abbreviate his name to Jackson) doing what he does best... for an hour an a half.

When evil_jim saw Terminator 3: Arnie Meets Jason, he described it by saying that "the climax happened ten minutes into the movie." Snakes on a Plane is like that, except that it starts a little more slowly (let's say, twenty, twenty five minutes). Once the action starts it never lets up, which is good if you like that sort of thing, but it didn't take me long to get bored. Oh sure, it stayed entertaining, but it felt hollow. The entire plot could be summarized in a short paragraph, and you could devote one sentence to the middle hour of the film without losing any important details, which I guess is what makes SoaP differ from, say, the Indiana Jones trilogy. Indiana Jones plays like a greatest hits revue of 1930s' pulp adventure fiction. The action only ever lets up long enough to let you catch your breath, but when it does, the plot advances, which doesn't happen with SoaP. When I imagine the writing sessions for SoaP, I picture the writers sitting under a big sign reading, "Is this wicked awesome enough?" I picture them cutting all the slow and superfluous material from the story, replacing it with action, and then repeating the process until they had a solid hour of pure adrenaline.

Again, that doesn't mean that I wasn't entertained, and it certainly doesn't mean that SoaP didn't have good points. On a technical level, it's some of the best material offered by modern action films. It's very slick and very attractive. The acting is generally good, especially Samuel L. Jackson, who (let's face it) is the only reason anybody wants to see this movie. Neville Flynn is the perfectly archetypal Samuel L. Jackson role, in the same way that Evil Dead's Ash is the perfectly archetypal Bruce Campbell role. I've never had an opinion about Kenan Thompson, but he, personally, has a lot to do with what I liked about his role as one of the rapper's bodyguards. The dialogue is sufficiently tongue-in-cheek, but never so much as to be silly. The snake attacks are silly, but that kind of comes with the territory of the target demographic (i.e., the sort of people who read movie reviews on livejournal).

The only bad points can mostly be summarized briefly by saying that Snakes on a Plane offers nothing more or less than snakes on a plane. Otherwise, I found Trevor Rabin's musical score to be incredibly obtrusive, but I probably pay undue attention to soundtracks, and nobody's seeing it for the music, anyway. Oh, and I was joking before the movie that I'd read that it ends with a big musical number. It doesn't, but I'd probably be willing to overlook its faults if it had.

Most of the audience liked the movie better than I did, I think. The snake attacks and ridiculously portentous dialogue were punctuated by frequent cheers, and the slow parts were improved by anticipatory hissing from the entire theater. I've never been in a theater with so many people so excited about a single movie -- even a bad one -- as I have last night. Interesting to note: I can't remember what trailers were shown before the movie, but they were for action movies of the sort that I would expect to appeal to an audience interested in SoaP. All were met by impatient and annoyed reactions from the audience except for the one for Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, which garnered cheers and applause.

All in all, I think Snakes on a Plane will have more longevity than I'd originally expected, but not a great deal more. It's no Army of Darkness, but I can imagine it being mentioned in the same breath as that film and Big Trouble in Little China. It was designed to be a one-shot deal, but Hollywood always finds a way to make a sequel, and I recommend that in the next one, the snakes carry guns and switchblades. For that matter, I think Samuel L. Jackson's character could probably wield a sword and have a cannon attached to his arm without tipping the plausibility scale any further.

In other news, I think the time is right for Mahir Cagri: The Movie, They Ate My Balls!, and The Passion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


* Director's commentary: I was setting this sentence up for a joke about where the first victim gets bitten, but my parents read this journal, you know?
Current Mood: happyfine
Current Music: Ginger Sling -- Can't Stop the World

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:the_tick27
Date:August 19th, 2006 05:49 am (UTC)
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Meatloaf is JB dad in that movie
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:August 19th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
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That's incredibly cool, he's great.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:August 19th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
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I noticed that the preview that appealed to me the least was the one most others liked most. It also appeared to be the dumbest. Says something about the audience, doesn't it.

If it matters, I said T3's climactic finale began twenty minutes into the film. And I agree that there were stretches of both movies that you could skip without missing anything important. T3, however, has more story. Tho' I don't expect to see either again.

Sam Jackson did a fine job, but I think Bruce Campbell would have increased the watchability of this movie by %100. I also like the arm cannon idea.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:August 19th, 2006 06:38 am (UTC)
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Actually, you said ten minutes when we were discussing T3 after its initial release, but you said twenty last night. I don't know, I might be misremembering the movie, but I think you were right the first time.

As for the Tenacious D movie, I remember watching video for their song Tribute on the same day that I showed you Irational Exuberance video, and Hyakugojyuuichi!!. I get the feeling that when you say it appealed to you least, you're not implying that you want to see any of the other at all. Ouch. At any rate, I like Tenacious D well enough that I'm excited about The Pick of Destiny, and it certainly looked better to me than the action movies.

I do think that Bruce Campbell is pretty fantastic, but I like Samuel L. Jackson just as much, and I think he was pretty much the only reason SoaP was worthwhile. Though I agree that Bruce could've made a much better movie, I think that improvement would mostly be due to the fact that I can't picture him in the movie we saw last night. Snakes on a Plane starring Bruce Campbell would have to be an entirely different sort of film, and though I like the arm cannon, I still have a soft spot in my... let's see, you feel love in your heart, but which organ controls my fondness for violence? Let's say that I have a soft spot in my spleen for the arm chainsaw.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:August 19th, 2006 07:27 am (UTC)
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After watching the Tenacious D video again I decided to give the trailer another try. It still doesn't appeal to me & seems more tuned to the crowd that likes Chris Farley movies. However, I liked their music enough to be seeking more song samples as I type.

Out of curiosity I searched Google for "Spleen +violence" & found the alt.spleen FAQ. About 4/5 of the way down they answer "Are the rumors of spleen violence true?"
[User Picture]
From:phil_bond
Date:August 20th, 2006 05:13 pm (UTC)
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"I noticed that the preview that appealed to me the least was the one most others liked most. It also appeared to be the dumbest. Says something about the audience, doesn't it."

I'm SANE! Everyone ELSE is crazy!
*motorboat sounds from the lips*
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:August 20th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
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I like Tenacious D's music, but their film seems to be something of a stoner movie (or at least contain that sort of humour) which doesn't appeal to me at all.
[User Picture]
From:toastmastertom
Date:August 22nd, 2006 04:36 am (UTC)
(Link)
SNAKES A PLANE ON!!
Snakes in a Review - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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