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September 18th, 2005


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11:50 pm - Housewarming party, my antisocial tendencies, and other people's psycho ex-girlfriends.
The problem with having a big potluck at your house is that you tend to end up with a ridiculous amount of leftover food. Granted, most people wouldn't consider this a problem, but most people understand proper food handling and storage techniques better than three 25-year-olds. We currently have an box of uncooked bratwurst, open and uncovered, on the top shelf of our fridge. The chances of contamination are astronomically small (depending, I suppose, on your definition of "astronomical"), but anyone who's ever worked with food should be able to find two health code violations there. Three if I speculate as to how long the brats were on the counter before they wound up in the fridge.

Oh yes, for those who weren't invited, ribsinbacon, RJ and I had a housewarming party on Saturday. I'm terribly sorry that you weren't included in the invitation, but, well, I'm a jerk. Though I don't hate parties, I've never lived with people whose friends I could relate to, and I thought it best to carefully choose my potential guests so that I would either be able to hang out with a small number of people I know, or retreat to my room.

Besides, some of you live in California. Or Washington. Or Australia. Or were visiting Japan.

agaysexicon and fuzzyinthehead were the first people to show up, and we mostly hung out downstairs watching the movie Benny and Joon. We had a pleasant time, and I really like getting together with Nick and Liz, but the downside of our little antisocial alliance (not that they wanted to be antisocial, it just worked out that way) is that when they left, I went upstairs and tried in vain to relate to the LARPers Ribs and RJ had invited.

I do not understand LARPers. At all. LARPers on my friends list -- roleplayers in general -- might take offense to that, but it's true. LARPers tend to be social outcasts on one level or another, and once they get into a clique, they no longer have to make allowances for the rest of the world. They indulge in their own personality quirks and intellectual pursuits to such a degree as to make the conversation nearly impenetrable to an outsider like myself. My social group is just as guilty of this, and just RJs friends would have a hard time joining my discussion of H.P. Lovecraft, I had a hard time finding footing in Saturday's group discussion about martial arts, and using one's mustache as a helicopter. This is what they were talking about. I was totally lost, which is too bad since the cute bartender from RJ works with was right there. No, I'm kidding. She's cute, but (for reasons which will be painfully obvious to my close friends) I can't imagine a bartender being my type.

Eventually theenigma42 called me, got directions to our place, and came over with lord_alucard. We hung out for awhile and reminisced with RJ about the Days of Olde (summer, 1999), when a girl named Crystal systematically dated everyone in my social group (except for Keith and me) in her quest for somebody to settle down and raise a family with.

It takes a special kind of person to think that a 19-year-old would make a good father.

Apparently after dating a couple of my close friends, Crystal dated RJ. Within a month of their breakup, she was pregnant with somebody else's kid and engaged to be married. This probably sounds somewhat apocryphal, but those who knew Crystal will not be surprised. When she was single, she was everybody's friend. As soon as anybody expressed an interest in her, she latched onto him, and did whatever she could to keep him away from his social group. With a few minor exceptions she only spoke to me when she was single, and Crystal being single never lasted more than two or three days. Our second-to-last conversation took place over the phone, and went something like this:
Crystal: Hello?
Me: Hi, can I speak to Craig, please?
Crystal: Craig's gone for the week. He's visiting his grandma.
Craig (on another extension): Hello?
Yeah. Thanks to Crystal, I didn't see or hear from either of them again for some weeks. Eventually I got a call from Crystal because he'd disappeared. It was a few days later that Craig returned from an impromptu trip out west. To anybody familiar with the circumstances, this was not weird or irresponsible behavior.

Understandably, Crystal was furious and it didn't help that everybody sided with Craig. That was the last I saw of her. It comes as no surprise that after she got married, she cut her rainbow-dyed hair, dropped her Wiccan beliefs, and started cheerleading for Dubya. Her primary motivation seems to be her own financial and physical comfort, which sounds reasonable, but she takes it to extremes which involve entirely retooling her personality. This is exactly the sort of behavior the Evil Girlfriend would exhibit if I created a sitcom, but it stops being a punchline when it actually happens.

Anyway, eventually the party came downstairs. We watched TROOPS which, amazingly, most of the LARPers hadn't seen. Oh, you haven't seen it either? TROOPS is a short parody of COPS which features the Imperial Storm Troopers from Star Wars and explores the real story behind the death of Luke's uncle Owen and aunt Beru. It's been around since the late '90s, and for me it holds the same type of nostalgia as a movie you loved as a child, but which you now realize is riddled with plot holes and bad dialogue. TROOPS was a staple of parties with my high school friends during the mid-'90s, and I saw it more times than I want to think about. It was mildly clever and hasn't gotten any better, but unlike most of the funny videos I downloaded when I was 17, it hasn't gotten any worse either. If you're curious and feel like downloading a 30-meg video, you can find it here.

After TROOPS, RJ threw in a fan-produced episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 which featured all of the characters from Joel-era MST3K played by other actors. It was really quite impressive, but if you're going to all the trouble, why not make something original? We watched a little of it, but Tom wanted a drink before Rocky Horror so we ducked out before "Joel" (who was played by somebody named Ryan) and the bots started hounding Highlander II. I had wanted to leave a little later, but as it turned out, the party was winding down anyway.

So that was Saturday's party! Aren't you glad you read all that? It's almost as if you had actually been here! Sometime on Monday I will post about the rest of the weekend. Right now I'm going to bed.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: The Voodoo Organist -- Holy Ghost Town

(18 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:wyrdsatyr
Date:September 19th, 2005 07:21 am (UTC)
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I feel as though I didn't miss anything.....
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 02:09 pm (UTC)
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Well, my take on the situation is definitely different than everybody else's. I had set myself up for a mediocre evening, and I got one (except for when Nick, Liz, Tom and Keith were present). Everybody else had a good time, though. Ribs and RJ were very happy with the turnout.
[User Picture]
From:crabmoon
Date:September 19th, 2005 07:44 am (UTC)
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yeah, should of come and cooled the place up a bit, jk, I fell asleep. :(. ~Lindsay
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
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That's no excuse. No, I'm kidding. It's fine.
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From:evil_jim
Date:September 19th, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
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You may be a jerk but you're still invited to my welcome back get-together later this week or so. I haven't heard anything formal but I assume Lindsay & co. will want to do something with everyone.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
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Cool. That will depend, of course, on my availability since I've made plans for some of the end of the week, but I'm definitely interested if I'm free.
[User Picture]
From:fuzzyinthehead
Date:September 19th, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC)
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When do you get done with work on Fridays? Are you up for the movie, or am I the only person who cares?
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC)
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Well, I am done with work at 5:00, but Friday is usually the night Ellen and I get together, and we'd already made plans to do this. We had not decided what we were doing. If Ellen's invited, I think she'd definitely be interested in going.
[User Picture]
From:chromwolf
Date:September 19th, 2005 08:06 am (UTC)
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Whoa. I helped Craig "disappear", as did theenigma42; Keith was actually at the place when Crystal had come home, and Craig and I had just come back from dropping crup off at his parents' place. We saw Crystal's car out there, and just kept right on driving.

Keith later said Crystal reamed him a new proverbial asshole (only slightly less unpleasant than being reamed an actual new asshole), and was understandably pissed off at Craig. ...Not that I would have stopped either. :P ;>

.....Oh, and I've since come across another TROOPS-like fanfilm, called IMPS; I forget what it stands for, but it's essentially TROOPS with an actual budget. ;> I'll try and find a link for it, and when I do, I'll also post one to Star Wars: Revelations, the best-done fan film I have ever seen.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
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Ah yes. Keith told me about Craig's move for the first time on Saturday night. What I was actually referring to though was the time Craig decided, on his way to work, to go visit some people he'd met over the Internet. Crystal called everybody looking for him, and he turned up a few days later. I feel kind of bad discussing it on my livejournal, partly because I know he reads it but mostly it probably sounds like completely irrational behavior to anybody who didn't know them. Frankly though, none of us knew just how insane Crystal was when they got together, so I don't blame him for dating her or for taking off. I would have been on the verge of nervous breakdown (moreso than usual (that's not a joke)), and if taking a break is what kept him sane, that's fine.

Anyway, do link to that fan film -- it sounds interesting.
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From:chromwolf
Date:September 19th, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)
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I'm not entirely sure it was completely unplanned... It may have been, who knows.... But there were actually several times when he went to visit these people (I was familiar with them as well; as a matter of fact, it's where I got my current screen name (of many years now)). I never got the chance to do so myself. Cool people.

If it was unplanned, though, I can TOTALLY understand... If was breaking up with an archdemon from the 7th or 8th level of hell because the drugs she was slipping me were wearing off, I'd want to leave the frackin state too. ;> I knew Crystal well enough (which, thankfully, was not very well) to know how absolutely psycho she could be. I won't explain why, issuing brain aneurisms to all my friends isn't quite the calling card I'm hoping to have. ...God I hope she never reads this. :P :)
[User Picture]
From:theenigma42
Date:September 19th, 2005 10:04 pm (UTC)
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Did you borrow that from Tom's website, or come up with it independently? That's exactly what Tom said about Crystal.
-KEiTH
[User Picture]
From:chromwolf
Date:September 19th, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)
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It seems to me I borrowed the "slipping him drugs" part (it just seemed far to appropriate), but I thought I'd come up with the "dating a demon from the 7th or 8th level of hell" on my own... I could have subconsciously swiped that, too, though. In any case, it too was quite fitting.
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From:theenigma42
Date:September 21st, 2005 06:18 am (UTC)
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no, just the slipping drugs part...yeah.
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From:ribsinbacon
Date:September 19th, 2005 11:19 am (UTC)
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Don't worry about the cute bartender, she's taken. As for the social outcasts, I can kind of agree with it as long as you generalize that statement with anyone who dresses up and potrays someone they're not. As for the Crystal thing: I only knew her through Elves' Palace. She really creeped me out. I met her at my first Rocky Horror show. She came over and said "Hey you used to come to Elves' Palace!" I replied with a stern "Yeah, I'm busy now." She didn't talk to me the rest of the night.

I'd like to note also that RJ's co worker and his girlfriend where in attendence. The skinny girl that kept playing with the cats, and the short dude with the goatee...
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 19th, 2005 02:34 pm (UTC)
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I'm not worried about the bartender. Being cute and being my type are different things, and if somebody isn't both, I'm not really interested. I can't see our personalities meshing well.

I didn't really meet RJ's coworker, but his girlfriend was pretty cool. I think she felt similarly displaced, and we tried to have a conversation, but I'm not interested in martial arts, so it didn't really go anywhere.
From:renny1780
Date:September 19th, 2005 06:48 pm (UTC)
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I apologize for not partaking in the events at Colin's new digs. But, I had to work and I needed the money and I was exhausted after work so going to Rocky wasn't an option...and did I ever meet Crystal? She sounds like someone I know but I can't remember the name of that person.


Okay, I'm babbling and that means I should go away. Hrm.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:September 20th, 2005 01:17 am (UTC)
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I'm pretty sure you never met Crystal, though she did work at the Elves' Palace for awhile. She was a few years older than us and had moved down to Madison from Appleton. We met her through Rocky, she dated a couple of my friends, briefly rented an apartment with Craig, and then moved on to somebody else. After she and Craig split I didn't see her again.
Housewarming party, my antisocial tendencies, and other people's psycho ex-girlfriends. - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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