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August 12th, 2005


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11:52 am - What's My Angel?
The Muzak at work is playing The Pretenders' cover of Angel of the Morning, which reminds me of a kid I used to know named Chad. I’m not talking not the Chad who's been so savagely discussed on my Friends list over the last week. I'm talking about a different Chad whom I haven't seen since high school. He moved away when we were in eighth grade and visited periodically after that... He came to theenigma42's 16th birthday party after he got his driver's license, and that may be the last time I saw him. By that time he'd completely retooled his personality, having fallen in with that clique who used to park their trucks outside the grocery store and blare rap and country music. Occasionally they'd get tickets for underage alcohol possession, and I remember a few of them who got suspended for using school printing equipment to make bumper stickers that said things like, "Wanted: Small, black man for use as mudflap."

Chad sort of fell out of our social group, and nobody -- least of all him -- felt too bad about that.

But I digress. The whole point of bringing up Chad was to mention that one day when we were in middle school, he triumphantly announced that he was getting a pornographic computer game for Christmas. Chad's parents were in the habit of buying a lot of pornography and making no attempt to hide it from their kids, so when Chad and his brother went snooping around the house in search of unwrapped presents and came across a game called What's My Angel?, they decided it was porn and that they were getting it for Christmas.

They were half right.

Even to my twelve-year-old mind, the phrase "What's My Angel?" was neither suggestive nor logical. I thought maybe they'd misread the title because "Who's My Angel?" sounded plausible, but I still couldn't imagine Chad's parents outright purchasing porn for their kids, especially considering the great (and ineffective) effort they had put into password-protecting their copy of Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards. Then again, Chad actually found the game, right? He must have held it in his hands and seen the artwork adorning the packaging, and that surely would have disclosed the true nature of the game.

Anyway, the Christmas of 1992 came and went, and having been so incredulous about the game, I completely forgot about it until about a month later when somebody at the lunch table recalled Chad's former excitement.

"Hey," he said, "Can you make me a copy of that porno game your parents bought you?"

"It's not a porno game," said Chad. "It's about angels."

"Like in church?"

"No, math angels. Like right angels and obtuse angels. 45-degree angels."

There was silence at the lunch table until I said, "you mean angles?"

"There's more than one way to say it," said Chad.

To this day I can't hear the phrase "45-degree angle" without imagining a winged fellow with a halo rocketing off into the wild, blue yonder. "Up, up, and away!"

The mystery remains, however, as to what was depicted on the packaging of the game. Educational software for the home is not a lucrative business, and I can only assume that What's My Angle? fell victim to a remarkably ill-advised marketing strategy.
Current Mood: nostalgicglad I'm not 12
Current Music: The Pretenders -- Angel of the Morning

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:renny1780
Date:August 12th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC)
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Do I remember Chad? I'm trying to think of who this is and I'm having a brain fart...hrm...
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From:sacredspud
Date:August 12th, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC)

Re: Obtuse angels, ay?

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You know, I never saw that movie. Sounds like you're telling me not to bother.
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From:sacredspud
Date:August 12th, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC)

Re: Obtuse angels, ay?

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one of those "allow a scuzzy angel who is obviously John Travolta with fake wings [movies]

You mean there's more than one?!
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From:theenigma42
Date:August 12th, 2005 06:35 pm (UTC)

Re: Obtuse angels, ay?

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The only thing I really remember about that movie was the joke they had with Michaelangelo. See, John Travolta's character was named Michael. At one point it showed a park bench that said "Michaelangel." Someone was sitting over the "o". I don't remember the circumstances for this, but I guess that's a good thing.
(Deleted comment)
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From:theenigma42
Date:August 12th, 2005 06:32 pm (UTC)
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I think Colin is referring to Chad Goplin (sp?). I didn't know he had fallen in with the group you mentioned, nor did I remember that story. It sounds exactly like him, though. I was better friends with Brad than CHad anyway.
-KEiTH
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:August 12th, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
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I had posted a reply to Renee, and then deleted it because I didn't want to use his last name, but meh, whatever. I'm gonna leave your comment as it is.

Yeah, that's the group he joined, though I'm not sure how deeply he entrenched himself in it. I can't really imagine him fitting into that group, but then, maybe that's who he wanted to be or maybe that's all that was available in late-'90s Edgerton. I was always better friends with Chad than I was with Brad, but it was the kind of friendship where we were more interested in pirating each other's software than we were in hanging out. That said, I hope they're both doing okay. It's easy to wish people well when you don't anticipate seeing them again.
From:renny1780
Date:August 12th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
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Okay, now I know of whom you all speak.
What's My Angel? - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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