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July 7th, 2005


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11:12 pm - "The ennui is killing me."
Well, the Great Cubicle Switch happened, but (not surprisingly) it hasn't been worth writing about. Isn't that a nice story?

Anyway, I've been feeling pretty physically lousy the last couple of days. Yesterday I attributed it to the extremely low light thanks to the diffusers I'd mentioned, but even after moving into a much brighter space this morning I just felt kind of... crappy. I haven't really eaten anything of substance today. What little I did eat was good for me, at least. Well, other than that chocolate chip cookie bar I had at my class this evening.

Otherwise, little of interest has been happening, thanks to my being too tired and fatigued to actually enjoy social situations. This tends to happen a few times a year, and there's an indeterminate block of summer when I start feeling very physically and emotionally "down." I attempted suicide twice in the July between my seventh and eighth grades, but that thankfully I grew out of that.

These days when I hit absolute rock bottom I have to convince myself not to take the morning off. If I do that in summer, I last a couple of hours before somehow winding up at work. Between November and February I am frequently tempted to take a Mental Health Day, watch Twin Peaks until noon, and waste the rest of the day playing the freeware (read: "good") version of Crimsonland. In summer that feels like a waste of time, though.

I suppose the Noah's Ark trip fulfilled the same purpose, but $30 gate admission is a bit expensive for a Mental Health Day.

I don't feel too depressed to go in to work though. I just feel a great deal of ennui toward everything. My memory of the last few days is really foggy, and I blame the fact that I'm not eating. I've been through this enough times to know that it will pass, but finding the catalyst to spark the change is never easy.
Current Mood: amusedmeh.
Current Music: Duncan Disorderly -- The Fish

(14 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:July 8th, 2005 04:28 am (UTC)

. . . not feeling 'up'?

(Link)
How about if I treat you to lunch and War of the Worlds Saturday? The only catch is accompanying me on some of my errands.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:July 8th, 2005 03:19 pm (UTC)

Re: . . . not feeling 'up'?

(Link)
Well... That's tempting, but I'd feel like I'm imposing. If it sounds like a good idea to you though, I'm up for it. My only requirement is that I be home around 5:00, since I have other plans for early in the evening.
[User Picture]
From:evil_jim
Date:July 8th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC)

Re: . . . not feeling 'up'?

(Link)
If I invite you it isn't imposing. Since I have to be in Madison anyway and run straight back home after my errands I can pick you up and drive. I'll call in the morning.
From:renny1780
Date:July 8th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC)
(Link)
You sound like my thoughts in so many ways. But, not enough to believe that you've been tapping into my brain to steal them...

Of course, this, I suppose, is entirely possible.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:July 8th, 2005 02:01 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Stealing other people's thoughts is one of my many talents, but I assure you: if I were going to steal your thoughts, I wouldn't choose listless, depressed ones.

I'd probably check out the selection relating to monkeys and robots.
From:renny1780
Date:July 8th, 2005 06:34 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Well, I do have many thoughts about monkeys. Not so many about robots though :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:July 8th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Yeah, my job requires me to take five consecutive days off at some point during the year, but I have them scheduled for the end of August so it's gonna be awhile. I always thought it was a safety measure to prevent people from going postal, but it turns out that there's a federal regulation requiring bank employees to take a week off every year. The idea is that if you have set up some system for embezzeling money, it'll show up during a week of not being maintained. I think that any sufficiently smart person could work around this, but then again, I can't figure out how I could even set something like that up if I wanted to (which, if anybody I work with is reading this, I don't).

Corn Mo's great -- I'll get you a track listing when I get home. Incidentally, sorry about not being more social the other night. I needed to go to bed. Period.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:tlhinganhom
Date:July 8th, 2005 06:23 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Know where you are, know where you feel, not that that really helps -- I know it doesn't. But... hey, I got cookies!

And a dancing banana.

Aw, yeah.

So, to summarize, feel better; have a cookie; watch the banana dance.
[User Picture]
From:nocturne152
Date:July 8th, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ah, dancing banana. More relaxing than the recursive Hasselhoff (still amusing, though.
[User Picture]
From:tlhinganhom
Date:July 11th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC)
(Link)
I just came accross the most random lj icon, ever. And, given your screen name, well...



Collin says: "oh god, he's hitting her in the eye!!!"

Ok, I'm done now.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:July 11th, 2005 12:42 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hal, you've broken my brain.
[User Picture]
From:tlhinganhom
Date:July 12th, 2005 07:18 am (UTC)
(Link)
Well, my work is done here...
"The ennui is killing me." - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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