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February 10th, 2005


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04:48 pm - How many times can you rhyme "hand" with "hand?"
I feel really lousy, like I've just come out of a full-body cast. My reflexes seem limp, and moving around isn't fun. It's not quite an ache, but it seems more physically demanding than usual.

I must be coming down with something. It hit me abruptly last night while Ellen was over, and it's only gotten worse. I hope I don't make her sick. I went to work anyway, but I didn't feel like going out on my lunchbreak (and, coincidentally, I had packed a lunch), so I just worked through it. This is good. I left early on Tuesday for a dental appointment, and if I take half of my lunchbreak tomorrow I won't need to take sick time to compensate.

...unless I end up taking tomorrow off.

But I don't know if that will happen, because part of my general physical discomfort might be due to the fact that someone has devoted a blog to That Pepsi Girl.

Even worse is an e-mail I got this morning from the woman who (if you remember that far back) sent me THE ALL-AMERICAN BALD EAGEL around this time last year. She isn't willing to stop forwarding messages, so I made her promise to "only send the best ones." Over the course of about three months, the occasionally funny joke in my e-mail became a deluge of insipid forwarded messages with subjects like "Kitty Cuties" and "The American Pact of Friendship." I can't block her messages because I need to e-mail her occasionally, and I'm told by others that complaining to her boss (who also gets the same e-mails) doesn't help.

This is the most ridiculous, saccharine thing she's ever sent me, ridiculous mostly because it's so badly written:

To: Me. From: Her. Subject: FW: If and only if.....
If I could catch a moonbeam And hold it in my hand I'd let you ride that moonbeam Direct to my loving hands. If I could catch a hug And keep it in a jar I'd send by post to you that hug No matter where you are. If in the future oh so far You ever need a hand Just call on me, your loving friend And I'll extend my hand. For I don't know What I would do If in my life you weren't. So if you are a friend indeed You'll show some care and love To Me,,,Your humble friend in need And you will always know That as a friend I love you so. !!!!!!DON'T JUNK THIS EMAIL!!!!!! SEND this to 10 people in the next 10 minutes! Who knows what could happen if you don't? The world could break apart wheil you are waiting! I BETTER GET THIS BACK FROM YOU! Then when you get it back email a friendly h i to all the addresses on the list you don't re cognise. Maybe one of them, is the love of your life and you don't even realise!

The world could break apart wheil I am waiting, huh? I bet you can't guess what I did with this e-mail after I copied it into my journal.

It's 4:46. I leave quite soon. I can't wait.

I'm not exhausted enough to collapse, but I wouldn't mind holding my bed down for a while.
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: Queens of the Stone Age

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:tlhinganhom
Date:February 11th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC)
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I just love the artful way in which this celebrated author rhymed "moonbeam" with "moonbeam", "hand" with "hands", "hug" with "hug", and "hand" with "hand".

And it's not even in meter. People are contemptable.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:February 11th, 2005 03:38 am (UTC)
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And it's not even in meter. People are contemptable.

I find something about this absolutely hilarious. But you're right. People are contemptible. They'd be even more contemptible if you could see the other e-mails I got from her today, but I like most of the people who read my journal too much to post them.
[User Picture]
From:jinxedkisses
Date:February 11th, 2005 03:40 am (UTC)
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What to do with an e-mail like this? Beleted! ...no Delteeted! ..no Deltaco?
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:February 11th, 2005 03:42 am (UTC)
(Link)
Um, hey cwapface! Why don't you bwow it out yow eaow?
[User Picture]
From:agaysexicon
Date:February 11th, 2005 04:22 am (UTC)
(Link)
No, they're more like elephant feet. 50 bucks sound good?
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:February 11th, 2005 04:23 am (UTC)
(Link)
I'll leave the key under the at-may.
How many times can you rhyme "hand" with "hand?" - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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