December 11th, 2004
|09:41 pm - "You have a weak connection to XSEXMENX."|
So what'd I do today? Well... ribsinbacon and I got together and had lunch at Famous Dave's. We discussed On The Road with Chuck & Bernie, the revival of ManWhore, our failed Presidental Campaign, and whether or not I should order a corn muffin. After lunch, we drove around looking for wireless access points for his pocket PC, and discovered that people give their networks even stupider names than they give to their pets ("You have a strong connection to network SMUCKERS69.").
Anyway, on my way home I decided to fill my gas tank. It's not really my gas tank -- it's the loaner from the shop that's fixing my car. I parked the car, got out, and was perplexed by the gas cap (or rather, the little door that covers the gas cap (there's probably a name for it, but it escapes me for the moment)). I can find the door, but it's obviously not meant to open by hand. I hunted around inside the car, couldn't find a switch for it, tried to pry it with my key (not something I'd do on my own vehicle (and no luck either, by the way)), and then went into the glove compartment for the owner's manual which, as anyone with a penis knows, should only be done as a last resort. Where's the switch? It's in the back of the glove compartment. This will haunt me for the rest of my days:
Dealer: Now this sweet baby comfortably seats seventeen, gets 500 miles to the gallon city, slices, dices, does your foreplay and your taxes, warns you if you're giving your wireless network a stupid name, and is priced to own at $6.22.I got home after the gas fiasco and found Nate and Mikey in front of The West Wing... exactly where they were when I left almost six hours earlier. The West Wing is Nate's Show, in the same way that Twin Peaks is My Show. I sat down to say hi, and didn't get up for about two hours. At some point Nate's cousin from downstairs came up to say hello, and another cousin from Way The Hell Up North showed up.
Me: How do I get into the gas tank?
Dealer: Little button in the glove compartment.
Me: Uh huh. Tell me about this '89 Yugo over here.
In one of the episodes the secret service gives everybody new codenames, and CJ's is Flamingo. Mikey and I decided that we all needed codenames, too. He's Kneesock, Nate is Ninja Midget, and Nate's cousin Tyler is Punkin. One of our housemates -- I won't say which -- is Buttplug ("Buttplug is covering the rear entrance. Repeat, Buttplug is covering the rear entrance"). My codename is The Majestic Colin, but since that's wordy the S.S. will probably choose to shorten it to Colin.
Yeah, The West Wing is pretty good. It just got turned off though. Apparently everybody's going drinking. Am I invited? Sure. Am I going? What do you think? No, Ellen just called, so I'ma post this and head over to her place.
Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: Birdsongs of the Mesozoic -- Theme from Rocky & Bullwinkle
I read your little gas-incident recap to Matthew...
He laughed pretty hard.
You know what is a bummer? I can't ask you if you want to marry me anymore.
Oh well. At least you have your cas cap to keep you amused.
At least you have your cas cap to keep you amused.
Obviously this is some obscure and unpopular definition of the word amused. Anyway, I think you have a better match in Matthew -- I don't like DDR.
|Date:||December 12th, 2004 04:46 am (UTC)|| |
Thats just screwed. Thats just wrong
My girlfriend is firmly of the belief that whoever made the design decisions was either drunk or feeling malicious at the time.
|Date:||December 12th, 2004 07:18 am (UTC)|| |
|(Link)|The Majestic Colin, this is Evil Jim. Your new codename is still pending. Hang in there. Over.
How 'bout The Sexecutioner?
|Date:||December 13th, 2004 12:43 am (UTC)|| |
No, I already said your codename is "Still Pending." Isn't that enough??
You know that Nates cousin Ryan now has to change his code name to "Fuckin'" right?
Um, how do you know Ryan?
"What kind of pie does mommy have Joey?" "Fuckin' pie!"
I hope I never have that conversation again.