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November 23rd, 2004


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09:26 am - Does that guy ever talk about anything besides coffee?
Dammit.

When I came in to work this morning, I turned on my PC and the lights at my cubicle, and headed over to the table by the window for a nice, hot cup of Good Morning America. I returned to my desk, sat down, and about ten minutes later got up to retrieve some printouts.

When I got back, my coffee was gone.

Gone. Completely. The cup was there, but the coffee was not. As I was trying, perplexedly, to figure out what had happened, one of my coworkers tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Ohmygawd, I had to dump out your coffee. A fly flew into my cup and I didn't want him to make you sick."

For anyone who doesn't understand why people like me need to drink coffee in the morning, well, this is a perfect example. Normally this woman is as smart as a whip (and normally I don't say things like "smart as a whip"), but before her morning coffee she's... Well, let's go over the problems with her logic here:
  1. She assumes that the fly will contaminate other cups. Um, the fly flew into her cup. Unless she poured her coffee back into the pot before I poured mine, I'm safe.

  2. She assumes that the fly is male. Have you ever verified somebody's gender by brushing aside his or her skirt? Imagine that the skirt is wet and you have to use a tweezers. It ain't that easy, especially for someone who wears thicker glasses than I do.

  3. She assumes that the fly is going to make me sick. Granted we don't serve our coffee at the same lap-scalding temperatures as McDonalds, but I've read more than once that coffee can be as effective as toothpaste for killing oral bacteria. Between that and the fact that it was too hot to drink, I think I'm pretty safe from flybourne illness. Especially illness carried by flies in somebody else's cup of coffee.

  4. She assumes that I care. I just got to work! I haven't had any coffee yet! Frankly, I'm amazed that so many of us actually make it in every day without killing somebody on the road due to weariness. As long as it's hot, black, and liquid, I don't care what else is in it. Not, at least, until I've had three cups and I can make a sentences that has it's gramaticness rite!
Anyway, new coffee is brewing, and I keep trying to drink out of my empty cup.

Oh, and to answer the question in the subject, yes, yes I do. Sometimes I talk about They Might Be Giants.
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Crash Test Dummies -- The Psychic

(10 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:juniperlore
Date:November 23rd, 2004 07:48 pm (UTC)
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people need to learn that you just don't mess with another persons coffee. I think that's in the bible or constitution somewhere;)
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 23rd, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Damn straight!
[User Picture]
From:nocturne152
Date:November 23rd, 2004 11:41 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Yeah, I've come close to murder over someone fucking with my coffee.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:November 23rd, 2004 07:57 pm (UTC)

From The Other Collin!

(Link)
Ahhhhh, Coffee and TMBG. Do you really need anything else?
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 23rd, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)

From this Colin

(Link)
No, sir. No, I do not.
[User Picture]
From:nocturne152
Date:November 23rd, 2004 11:41 pm (UTC)

Re: From this Colin

(Link)
Well.. there is H*R, and... uh... Yeah, I got nothing else.
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 24th, 2004 12:47 am (UTC)

Re: From this Colin

(Link)
Well Homestar Runner, yes, obviously. But other than coffee, They Might Be Giants and Homestar Runner, what have the Romans ever done for us?!
[User Picture]
From:nocturne152
Date:November 24th, 2004 01:05 am (UTC)

Re: From this Colin

(Link)
The aqueducts?
[User Picture]
From:jinxedkisses
Date:November 24th, 2004 04:34 am (UTC)
(Link)
*makes plans to swap out Collins coffe with hot motor oil sometime in the future.*
[User Picture]
From:sacredspud
Date:November 24th, 2004 05:51 am (UTC)
(Link)
Like I said: at least three cups.
Does that guy ever talk about anything besides coffee? - Garmonbozia for the soul.

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